3 years in University have taught me that.....

1) Townies are equivalent to 'Ah Bengs.' Tracksuits and golden medallions bought from Claire's Accessories is part of their signature style.

2) Examiners tend to mark more leniently when they are pregnant.

3) You can still be considered beautiful despite having cursed with an oversized size 12 bum.

4) It is possible to sleep with the lights off.

5) If you are deprived of cable telly, the annual Eurovision Song Contest on BBC1 is your only window to foreign civilisation.

6) Most Malaysians roam around in herds consisting of three to ten. And they feel sorry for you if you're seen having lunch or going to the cinemas alone.

7) Many students like to pretend that they are rich. And spend recklessly with their parents' hard earned money to enhance their reputation away from home. If you have an inert sense of style regardless of whether you're really poor or rich, you don't really have to endorse Ted Baker.

8) Beer culture makes you ugly.

9) The sun only shines 65 days a year.

10) You can still live healthily despite having smoked weed PASSIVELY every evening for six months.

11) Stalkers DO exist.

12) I am not the only 20 year old still drooling over poster boys.

13) There is no escape from family spies.

14) Kebab and chips drowned in excess mayonaise is the food of the gods.

15) Desire is the driving force of all human action. (As homage to Andre Breton who caused a considerable amount of misery to me for the past 10 days )