Monday, March 28, 2005

Journey Home

Leeds Castle
Originally uploaded by slamducky.
Crooning on my STEREO: Aint that a Kick in the Head by WESTLIFE

10:45am British Summer Time
5:45pm Malaysian Useless Time

I am now squatting in front of Burger King in Kuala Lumpur International Airport.
Firstly, my car has forgotten to pick me up. Secondly, I have no local cash for public transport. Thirdly, I've just touched down from spending 12 hours midair and I look like a stale fish. Fourthly, dodgy taxi drivers continuously hound me. Fifthly, people from the same flight are giving me strange looks as the girl who collected her luggage first and now stranded as the last to leave. Sixthly, I walked into a certain friend with the name of Jenson Button for the umpteenth time at Heathrow. (This time by the x-ray machines and airport officials were so ecstatic to GROPE him..I reminded him that he aint THAT famous yet. BASKET.) Seventhly, Coke Light was my breakfast drink and I truly regret it. Eighthly, I just heard that Casillas may end up playing for Man U.*

Last but not least, every backpacker, cleaner, worker, driver, visitor, mother, father, uncle, aunty, son, daughter, thief, binmen, scroungers etc who walks past eyes my laptop...

Damn, I forgot insurance.

* Now that's what I call FLIPPIN'. If he leaves Real, I will jump off the nearest bridge. (Pasolini style)
** The pic opposite is my home. Tada.

Saturday, March 19, 2005


Prime Meridian
Originally uploaded by slamducky.
Crooning on my STEREO: Dime by BETH

Thanks to the phenomenal weather, I ditched my work today and made a suprise visit to Greenwich.

For those ignorant fools out there, Greenwich is the home of the Prime Meridian. I can't be arsed to explain in detail, so here's the gist; the Prime Meridian line separates the East and West longitude where time is calculated as 0GMT. There is a long brassy line on the compound of the Royal Observatory where tourists love to have each of their feets on each side of the line. (which humbly reflects on their subconscious desires to conquer the world: too bad the trend of colonial empire hath long gone.)

The Prime Meridian photography rave has spurned some peculiar and suggestive tourist habits:

Chinese and Japanese girls love to mimick the PEACE symbol accompanied by a Sailormoon grin. They are aiming to impart an adorable notion of World Peace.
---> Cute Innocent East meets Sexy Asianphillic West, y'see? Good for Westbound migration.

Men tend to stand with their legs apart on both sides of the Line. Instead of smiling, they put on a tough constipated look and fold their arms like a WWF warrior.
No wonder they say that the Viking spirits still live in all of us.
---> Tough Guy dreams to conquer both the East and the West.... materialistically, empirically and undoubtedly, sexually.

School trips consisting of more than 10 kids usually form a cheesy line standing on the Meridian.
--->This is an educational attempt to teach potential future leaders to be neutral in all affairs. ie: "Don't take sides and you will be the center of the world".
What bull.

Middle-aged women often squat on the line to have their photos taken.
--->A sign of fatigue and lack of fitness. After all, the journey to the Royal Observatory consists of several train rides, a 10mile walk as well as hiking a 80degree slope to reach the top of a hill.

Old pensioners tend to position themselves proudly on both sides of the line with their hands outstretched in a rather Napoleonic manner.
--->In all their years living on Earth, this action reflects an underlying quest of utopia. They want to bridge both sides of the world and bring world peace. No more racism, discrimination nor violence... only Britain can do it.

Boy, we've got a long way to go.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Important lessons learnt this week.

Originally uploaded by slamducky.
Crooning on my STEREO: All About You by MCFLY

1) Do not mix Estee Lauder's Sunless bronzer with Clinique Dramatically Different Gel. Unless you are heading for Faux Pas.

2) A cheesy smile will NOT get you acting jobs. (see pic.)

3) It is OKAY to be seen buying MCFLY's single. Explain that you're just doing your bit for charity (Comic Relief). Really?

4) Remember to switch OFF your fan heater before you leave the flat. Electric bills in this country are fucked.

5) It is POSSIBLE to feel sorry for Manchester United fans while feeling sorry for yourself. (very rare)

6) The Diary of Anne Frank makes a better read than Bridget Jones' Diary. huh Huh.

7) STALKING the old college librarian has its benefits. ie. you escape overdue fines.

8) Do not eat any form of GARLIC before a film shoot. Swear on it.

9) The only way to escape the epidemic FLU is to lock yourself in and have aboslutely no physical contact with anyone for the next month or so.

10) I have dropped my Ipod at least 20 times onto the wooden floor and it is still working. Pretty Fine.

11) Stay away from Michelangelo Antonioni films. Watching the trilogy drove me up the wall.

Friday, March 04, 2005


Crooning on my STEREO: Obviously by MCFLY
I've gone shallow in the past 48hours and I've been listening to British boyband MCFLY's hit "OBVIOUSLY" on repeat. The LYRICS.... believe it or not, as CORNY as they may seem, do make some DECENT sense. Be glad that I didn't decide to quote Backstreet Boys......."I waaaannnntttt itttttt daaaatttttt waaaayyyy...."


Recently I've been
Hopelessly reachin'
Out for this girl
Who's out of this world
Believe me

She's got a boyfriend
He drives her 'round the bend
Cuz he's 23
He's in the marines
He'd kill me

Been so many nights now
I find myself thinkin about her now

Cause obviously she's out of my league
But how can I win
She keeps draggin me in
And I know I
NEVER will be good enough for her
No no
I NEVER will be good enough for her

Got to escape now
Get on a plane now
Off to LA
And that's where I'll stay
For two years

I'll put it behind me
(I'll put it behind me)
And go to a place where she can't find me

Cause obviously she's out of my league
I'm wastin my time
Cause she'll never be mine
And I know I
Never will be good enough for her
No no
I never will be good enough for her

My favourite bit is the chorus. I was singing it at the top of my voice until concerned neighbours checked on me.
Yeah, I CONFESS. I admit that I haven't been coherent lately.

Sometimes I despise being an actress. It really messes with my head.


Come on, I am even listening to MCFLY.
How SCREWED can I get??