Sunday, November 30, 2008

This, too, will pass.. hopefully.

Crooning on my STEREO: Male in Povere by AFTERHOURS

Before I leave for the Malaga TV Market and London tomorrow, I want to let you know that the past four weeks I have dealt with a traitor, a harlot, an undertaker and a maniac.

You wonder how much one can take? Honestly I don't know. I have seen courageous people overcoming the greatest odds and earthquakes. Frankly I used to believe that I could be one of them, but as you can see; it only takes the loss of one man to trigger a series of shipwrecks on me.

As if the breakup was not dramatic enough, I had to face off several equally traumatizing events which I wish I could put them down here on this column.

But I was told that I shouldn't. Due to legal reasons. Even though writing is serious therapy for me. But damn those rumor mongers; they even robbed my only peace of mind.

I lost the man I love, and now I am left to deal with a psycho. Alone.

I need my family. They are my only love.

I love my friends too, but I cannot bring myself to impose onto them.

I know things could be worse, and I pray that it wouldn't. But I must admit that the constant accumulation of trauma tears my heart. There were times I couldn't connect to it. There were times I prayed for divine intervention.

This emo drive is so unlike me. But I can't lie about my melancholy. I just can't bring myself to deny sadness and write you a happy post. That will just come across as, so, FAKE.

Why, and what have I done wrong? This is really not so bad but why do I feel so bad?

My health is suffering. Please, I pray, don't let anything else get any worse.

I even decided to suspend my job promotion.

6 comments:

mistipurple said...

nothing is worth for health sacrifice. i know that first hand, and a little too late.
you're a strong gal, lyn. you can make it. climb out of whatever dark hole you can, and the rest which is out of your control, just do what is needed.
divine intervention? that? there's no better help than help from above, or whichever belief you might have. prayers for peace of mind is the greatest asset, besides good health of course.
*hugs*

Jolenesiah said...

which psycho is harrasing u?
ill kick them away...

hugs ill pray for u and if u really wanna talk i can be ur ears, i dont mind (mostly ur eyes)... please be strong.. dont let the darkness swallow u...

KY said...

hang in there!

@jennl said...

Dear Lyn, I know it's not my concern, but I really hope you don't suspend your job promotion. Sometimes (as cliche as it sounds), a lot of people do love to land the job like yours which is not easy to be made available to asians.

I know you are trying to heal after all the betrayal...i gone through that and so aware how it hurts so much (remember when i told you i found out he lied, my heart cuts through and through) but nevertheless, life's is short and i determine not to let it affects my work or other stuff....but admitedlly, i do miss him before i sleep and when i wake up every morning.

Together we hang on to life;s madness and insecurities sometimes....there will be love dear....there will.....

Hugs always....

Huei said...

take care ok lyn..for ur health at least :)

Rt Hon Sir Cipan Nougat-Tenuk said...

A Traitor, a Harlot, an Undertaker and a Maniac.

... sounds like a good book. :)

Cheer up, luv ... Arsenal has won the last 3 games, we beat the Shite of Stamford Bridge, Cesc Fabregas is now captain and the Emirates crowd has probably hounded Eboue out of the squad (once and for all?)...

... the sun is shining (over here anyway), the grass is green and Arsenal is winning.

So get out there - and start living ... *mwahhhh*