CLOSURE

Crooning on my STEREO: FUCK U RIGHT BACK by FRANKEE

So, here's bringing you the next episode in the this amazingly dramatic fuck of a hell break up drama....

Read on, it just gets better.

24 hours ago, I pined for his love, his return and called him while BEGGING him to take me back. Yes for three days in the running I was devastated, undignified, cried a gallon and slept with the slightest assurance that, 'ok maybe he will come back to me....'

That proved to be stupid thinking.

That changed 3 hours ago. I had a piercing feeling that one cannot break off from a 2 year relationship just by saying.. 'oh I like you alot but this is for your own good... we just cannot be together.'

I dont buy the fact that two people can't be together because one cares too much about the other. Doesn't make sense, right? If two people are in love, anything goes. I mean, really, I just don't buy the whole scenario. The additional scenario I didn't mention in the previous post is that he is breaking up with me because he found out that he had a 6 year old illegitimate child in America.

That was a complicated possibility that we have always discussed very early on in our relationship and of course I accepted it because I loved him. So when the confirmation came, I was sad but ok with his decision to go off to the States. But he kept wanting to break off with me.

Also it makes no sense to dump your girlfriend for a child, right?

Because nothing made sense, I knew there was more to this havoc reasoning. He kept telling me he was not good for me but never really stated why.

So I called him at 6:45pm today. He was in Naples. I had a framework in my mind that goes by saying, 'Gio, someone told me that you found someone else.. tell me if this is true?' I had to put on some crocodile tears.. I must admit that Method Acting comes in pretty handy.

Here's the convo (translated into from Italian to English):

Lyn: Sayang, have you got a minute?
Gio: Si, si....
Lyn: Be true to me.. behind all this.. are you with somebody?
Gio: No, why do you say this?
Lyn: Someone told me. And since this is the last time we will speak, you must be truthful to me.
Gio: No, WHO TOLD YOU THIS?
Lyn: Gio, I know. (pauses) Tell me.

(pause)

Gio: Yes.

(pause) At this point, Lyn was in total shock.

Lyn: why?
GIo: I am sorry.
Lyn: No you are not.
Gio: Thats why i think it is better to finish with you, I can't keep hurting you.
Lyn: I knew this was true. It was not just the child. It was not just the long distance. (pauses) You found somebody else.

Gio: Si.
Lyn: Ok. (I am going to explode)
(pause)
Gio: I am sorry.
Lyn: Is she beautiful?
Gio: Why do you ask this?
Lyn: Tell me, is she beautiful?

(pause)
Gio: Yes.

Lyn: oh god.. (really, this point was pivotal, my loved for him died)
Gio: I am sorry.
Lyn: More beautiful than me?

(silence. He couldn't answer)

Lyn: When did you meet her?
Gio: September.
Lyn: And are you with her now?
Gio: Yes.
Lyn: oh my god..
Gio: I am sorry. That's why I have to break up with you. It's for your own good.
Lyn: I fucking hell moved to Munich for you.
Gio: I know. But we will not be together.... it is still far.
(pauses)
Lyn: Is she Italian? Where is she from?
Gio: Germany.
Lyn: FUCK....
Gio: I am sorry.

Lyn: And you fucking hell said NOTHING to me when I was with you in Perugia last week? I came all the way for you because I loved you!
Gio: But I did tell you not to come...
Lyn: But you never told me why?!!?
Gio: I know, I am sorry. I just didn't want to hurt you.
Lyn: And on that day you told me you will come to me in Munich and you told me that I am your love ?!!??!!?
Gio: I know, I was happy but..
Lyn: And you were fucking her the night before on OUR bed.
Gio: Don't say this. She was never in my bed.
Lyn: Then WHERE?
Gio: I was always at her house.

Lyn: And you were fucking her when you told me you have to work late nights. You WENT to the movies with her, you went shopping with her and you told me you were going to Luigi's house when in fact you were drinking and fucking her...
Gio: no..

Lyn: And you were MAKING LOVE to her during those nights when I sent you text messages at night and YOU NEVER REPLIED. And I cried throughout those nights because I thought that you forgot about me.
Gio: I am sorry Lyn...
(pause)
Lyn: oh god, I don't know what to do. I feel sick.
Gio: Me too.
Lyn: You were with her from September and yet you sent me messages telling me you missed and loved me.
Gio: I did love you.
Lyn: I don't believe any shit from you. anymore. I can't talk anymore.
Gio: I am sorry Lyn, I am not the guy you want, I am like this and I cannot change. You are far away and I can't do anything.
Lyn: Go fuck her tonight.
Gio: Sayang, stop this;
Lyn: Yes, go. You have her. She is beautiful. And you have a kid somewhere else good luck,

---------------------------
I slammed the phone down. But somehow I felt that needed to get back at him. So I rang him again.

By the way, I fucked someone on your BIRTHDAY.
And he is just like you.

For once, he was very, very pissed off.

That did the trick even though it was half-true.

Thank you for taking 2 years worth of my love for granted. I knew he could be a good person, I believed in him, I trusted him and I had faith in him.

Note the past tense.

BUT FUCK YOU. I AM GOING OUT TONIGHT.