Wednesday, August 24, 2005

CONFESSION BOX- PART ONE


Beeston Chavs- Nottingham
Originally uploaded by slamducky.
Crooning on my STEREO: Somethin Stupid by ROBBIE WILLIAMS & NICOLE KIDMAN

Dear Padre Amaro,

I hath come to confess my sins committed within the last 5 days. I hath blown my weekly allowance by 500quid on materialistic pleasures.

Bad, I know.

But I contend that such is necessary. As our Heavenly Father would have probably noticed, I was plagued by earthly evils such as MAN PROBLEMS that consequently leads to WORK PROCRASTINATION and LOW SELF ESTEEM.

So......in divine grace and courage I needed to get myself out of this rut. Therefore I needed a GOOD BREAK. Instead of moaning like a discontented harlot, I resorted to the simple mortal approach of

RETAIL THERAPY

Thank God for this miraculous decision. I spent three wonderful days with one my dearest friends and bought a bagload full of beautifying junk.
Not only hath I come back impoverished like a church mouse,

LIFE LOOKS WONDERFUL ONCE AGAIN

I had my final dose of mayonnaise drenched kebab, I waved goodbye to Dunkirk where I dwelled for 2 years and sworn at sinful night haunts such as THE WORKS and FACES for shutting its doors on a MONDAY NIGHT. I even took an eternal memorabilia of the Beeston Chavs whom I so, so, so adored and am going to miss. (above)

Okay. I am beginning to sound shallow. Then again, God made me a total woman. I like clothes. I like shoes. I like legwarmers.

But I like God too.
I really do.


Therefore I am here to seek divine forgiveness simply because no other mortal being was hurt in this prompt self indulgence process.
Praise good ol' God for imparting the origins of retail therapy. It hath saved many a troubled soul.

Oh, another request for forgiveness: I will be sorting my tattoo this weekend.......

Thank You Father. Please grant me a abundant week ahead... *cough cough*

16 comments:

LE said...

god bless retail therapy. amen.

Simple American said...

Shopping is not a sin.
Tattos are not a sin.
Flunking your paper is not a sin.

Guilt is.

Confess it. Forget it. And be happy.

Lot of people try to turn their taboos into sins against man created religion. But God defines sin and not man.

Now let me take a chainsaw to this soapbox. That's not a sin. It's recreation. :)

Anonymous said...

Dear gal, the sky can come crumbling down, but if you're happy, it don't matter one bit.
'Course I'll be patting your tattoo to Kingdom Come. I'm sure by November, it'd still be painful. =D
Hey while you're busy buying things and all, save some money and get for me Megadeth's album: The System Has Failed.
Rmbr it's banned here. "What The Fuck?" yea?
Dann

Kunstemæcker said...

Dunkirk as in Dunkirk, France? That's 15 minutes away from where I live!

I just checked wikipedia and there is no Dunkirk in the UK (only in the USA); you cheeky monkey you!

I live 15 freaking minutes away and you didn't text me, aaaargghh!

I will decide on your punishment this weekend. :D

Yng Lyn said...

le: Amen.

simple american: man, off to the confession box again this afternoon....
I confess my guilt, padre.........
You're right, I wish i could say the same to my bible study clan. Recreation, to them, is a sin :(
Can I borrow your chainsaw? hugs!

Dann: Oh god you sadistic UNCLE. hahahaha....
ONE MEGADETH ALBUM = 4 MAGARITAS....
so I've cut short my debt right?

Kunstemaecker: there's a Dunkirk in Nottingham... I swearrrrrrrrrrrr... I lived there as a student for two years. Perhaps I lived in France for two years .. ermm, did i???
OH NOOOO... KRACKER I WONT PICK YOU UP FROM WARTERLOO TOMMORROW.......
Am scared of your chainsaw...... *wails*

vincent said...

What were you doing taking pictures with the chavs? How did you ask them?

Yng Lyn said...

vincent: they're my friends!!!!

nah, I just asked them in a cockney and they were cool with it... so this makes a classic photo!! :D

Simple American said...

So you do speak in a Cockney. AH HAH!!!

But hey. Maybe you need to dump your Bible study clan. I've found a lot of these tend to be long nosed fishers of gossip rather than souls.

sunny sunflower said...

i wish i could have some retail therapy..i wish i can i wish i might.. may GOd grant me that little wish tonight... *crosses fingers, hopes and prays..*

Yng Lyn said...

simple american: hahah! my fake cockney is BADDD... I will test it on kracker tommorrow!!! if only you could be in London too!!
I don't trust many churchgoers, they parade their designer handbags in church. pah!

Debs: your prayers will be answered... shortly...
AMEN

Simple American said...

LyN there's nothing wrong with a designer handbag. It is a designer's soul that complicates Gods plan.

I think it would rock to join you & K-man in London. I had so much fun in Soho when I was there in the Dark Ages. Would like to revisit Covent Garden too. Had the best shepherds pie in one of those pubs. Nice pint of bitter to wash it down would be nice too.

Supermans Foot said...

we're sorry you bumpd into chavs. we try to hide them when visitors come but they clearly broke curfew

mistipurple said...

have fun with kracker tomorrow. make his life different again, turn him into another man. :p

Anonymous said...

thank god he has made such an incredible woman like your self,
I think that is something we should all be thankfull for.
thank you jesus, jesus


don't stop having fun


chau
besos y abrazos, Pedro

Anonymous said...

Mmm... a banned Megadeth album for four magaritas... I accept!
Dann

Yng Lyn said...

Simple american: true... very true!
Yeah covent garden's great.. I haven't explored much of London myself cos I;ve only been living here for less than a year... so will drag K Man along.

superman's foot: Oh no no.... I love chavs. I really do!!!!!

misti: I will. MUAHAHAHAHAHA

pedro: and thank god for lovely gentlemen like you!
Amen.

Dann: sorted!!!! what other banned albums do you want?