Wednesday, November 01, 2006

RAGAZZO

Crooning on my STEREO: Starlight by MUSE

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, BASTARDS.

nah, kidding. Welcome to the decadent life of bladder poisoning.

Screw the notion that every Italian is a carbon copy of Rudolph Valentino. I'm very sore from the fact that MEN HAVE NOT BOUGHT ME DRINKS SINCE I STEPPED FOOT HERE. Sure, I pay for the rounds and end up skint for the rest of the night. I am so used to having to find my way back on my own after that. Thankfully, I have become such a PRO at it after 8 years of practice.

You men pay for the drinks. and ask for my money back.

WHAT?

ASK FOR MY MONEY BACK?


CAZZO

Let's get real, you will never meet gentlemen in clubs everywhere around the world. I can testify that.

Unless you are PRETTY. Or HOT. Even the biggest prick will morph into a subservient bellboy.

TO ALL ANOREXIA-LOVING BASTARDS:
I HOPE YOU FALL OFF THE CLIFF


You have no idea how much I despise your type. It's all because of you that I've got myself into some sort of atkins-gone-wrong weight gain. Yeah, I binge on 3 kebabs a day because I KNOW I will never be a size 0. I drink and dance because I LOVE BOB SINCLAIR. And dont come back to me whingeing that you choose personality over looks.

I KNOW MY PERSONALITY ROCKS, OKAY?

You guys are just DUMB. Let me tell you something,

TI FACCIO UN CULO COSI!!!!!!!

I love my wonderful girlfriends. You all know who you are. Here's a abbraccio grande (big hug) from a rarely sunny Kew Gardens.



Back to handing out pub flyers on the street.

15 comments:

Simple American said...

I don't know what to say. Or am I still dazed from falling off the cliff.

Why weren't you at the bottom to catch me Mui?

danyanova said...

Lyn,

You'd better start getting used to it, doll. I discovered Italian men and the whole schebang is just a bad myth a long long time ago.

It really is quite sad to even meet the asking-for-money-back kind here in Asia, though probably in much smaller quantity.

Cazzo is the word indeed :)

Beer Brat said...

Hey I am not whinging. I am all for personality over looks. :)

stephanie said...

i love you toooooooooooo mi querido!! :p maybe we shud gather up some of these useless mothafuckas (i haf ONE at the top of my mind) and push em off the cliff? It's usually easier that way coz some are quite daft see...hehe MEN, cant live with em, cant live without em ;)

p.s. definitely WITHOUT boys who are in constant need of BABYSITTING!!

car@ said...

Lyn....Spain is not much far from that babe. Thank god my friends are NOT like that. Can't wait to have you here!! we will dance drink and enjoy BOB SINCLAIR! :-)

Someday, someone will see than shining personality of yours and then...the magic will happen! :-) YOU are still YOUNG!!!! love yaaaaaaa too!!

Yng Lyn said...

kor: you like anorexic women?

danyanova: babe, i know what you mean, I know it but I've always been optimistic about it.....

ouch!! what a painful worlddd!!! ;) CAZZO!!

beer brat: gooood!!!! a rare type indeed!!!!

steph: sei yan tau but i love yaaaaa my biatch!!!!! I agree with you!! oooo i wanna bash up mathafuckassss, wait for me to do that in Jan k???? I will bring a weapon back for ya!! ;)

Cara: I love your friends!!!! and YOU!!! :D muy simpatico!!!! :) I can't wait to party to party with you in Espana..... oh my god, its NEXT MONTH!!!!!!!! VA BENE!!!!!!!!
have a wonderful weekend k??? LOVE YAAAA

sicko said...

yah go barca and mallorca next week!

KevinTeh.Net said...

Not to worry. if you come to nz all drinks on me!

Kunstemæcker said...

did you say: I'll make you an arse like this?

Wait. What?

and um, what are you whingeing about, you've got both the looks ánd the personality.
You sis, are Miss Yng Blyng!

Anonymous said...

ah Lyn ah, I'm an anorexic woman.
John

cyber-red said...

are those your extended hands out in the pix? why so gila panjang wan???

oceanskies79 said...

This is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

lilyliverbird said...

It's a sad fact of life that anorexia wins over personality in the fanciable department. Sigh.

Yng Lyn said...

sicko: barca and mallorca? why?

kevin: thanksss, good to know that your type still exists!!

kracker: its an italian slang for, 'i will beat the shit out of you.'

ah john ah: i will push you off the cliff when you're here in December!

cyber red: yeah what, body distorted mahh..... ;)

lily: we shall revolutionize it!!!!!! we will!!!!!

Simple American said...

Not really. I don't like the sounds of broken bones when I hug a skinny girl. Squishey is always more satisfying. :0