Assholometer Bounty

Crooning on my STEREO: Bedshaped by KEANE


The one and only MIGHTY VINCENT came up with a wicked bounty tag in his sadistic quest of unearthing the devil out of self-proclaimed saints.

Everybody knows what a lovely girl I am. There's no denial that I have commited more saintly deeds than you mere mortals. Come on, I am LYN. The epitome of all perfection and divine purity. Ask anyone, they will say that I am NICE. And SWEET. And ANGELIC.

Today I will share some great deeds of virtue with my fellow readers:

- When I was in lower primary, I formed a juvenile gang and picked on this kid who wrecked my favourite helium balloon during a class party.

- When I was in upper primary, this bitch dared me to slap her in the school compound (which I gleefully did, of course) and her mother trotted to school the next day to hunt me down. I tactically missed school that same day to avoid that mad-mother- of-a-whore.

- I had to listen to a lame twit whinge on how miserable her life was (which was blindingly NOT miserable by my standards) for 3 hours on MSN.
The very next day I shared every detail of her misery with my family, friends and cab driver.

- 7 years ago, I convinced this girl in school that I was JON BON JOVI's secret lover. She believed me and she was (and possibly, still) in awe of me.

- I deny men who have ever been involved with me in any way.

- I helped myself to a hell lot of expensive art supplies from my high school's art room. Why? Because the teacher's a bitch. I even nicked an excerpt of her diary for comic relief.

- I take the piss out of 85% of the Malaysians living in London. They are the perfect picture of patriotism/materialism on foreign soil.

- If I hate your guts, I REALLY DO.
I am able to make half the nation boycott a cosmetics company simply because I depise a certain swine who works there.

- On days when I am intoxicated, I consciously choose to spit onto cars with single digit number plates.

- A chinky eyed girl in London snatched an acting role which could have been MY career break..... I spent 3 working days heavily bitching about her to everyone I meet.

- I can bitch about Wayne Rooney and his gang of merry men like there's no tommorrow.

- I take the piss out of 13-year-olds. Or rather, anyone who is younger than me. Or thinner than me.

- I tell everyone that I am a supporting artiste in the upcoming DA VINCI CODE. It's up to you to believe me or not.


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Project description: (written by the one and only VINCENT)

"I am quite a big asshole, eh? This project is called 'The Assholometer Bounty' simply because it is interesting find out, now that you guys know of my evilness, how much you would pay to get rid of me? How much would you be willing to fork out to rid the world of someone like me? Pillage my commenting box with any figure and I will total up the assholometer bounty as we go along.

Let's face it. As much as people like to claim that they are nice people, everybody is an asshole deep down inside. In fact, not enough people are proud of the evil things they did. With the exception of a couple of guys, I don't think enough people blog about their 'assholic' tendencies. Wouldn't it be a joy to read of more people being evil?

1) All you guys have to do is blog about your most 'assholic' deed (or a few, if you wish) in order to get your readers to raise your bounty. The higher your bounty, the better.
2) Copy out these last few paragraphs including the project description.
3) In keeping with being an 'asshole', you are free to spread this meme along to as many people as you wish (the more the merrier since everybody hates memes)."
- vincent
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I tag:
Caracola
Kracker
Simple American
SocialPest
Steve
Reubster

And to anyone who desires to reveal the inner demons of their personalities.