Thursday, November 03, 2005

Are you local?


I found paradise 2 weeks ago.
Originally uploaded by slamducky.
Crooning on my STEREO: Walk Away by FRANZ FERDINAND

A salesman in a shoe shop asked me,

'ARE YOU LOCAL?'


I wanted to maul him. Like a lion stranded in a famine for 4 weeks.

I am speaking of a MALAYSIAN asking a MALAYSIAN whether she's MALAYSIAN.

Okay. WELCOME HOME, LYN. You have chosen to dwell in your supposed birthplace where your own people can't even tell that you have spent 18 years of your life breathing local air and investing heavily in their shoe (and food) industry.

You may even have to ditch your 'universal' english accent in order to be understood.

Speak S L O W Y, I mean.

and what about your 20hrs of sunlight-MEDITERRANEAN TAN- acquired from ESPANA? Well ditch it as well. Because it is considered UGLY. According to the chinese malaysians anyway. Apparently they do not want their sons to marry you because you apparently look like you've been slaving it out at the construction site in harmony with the immigrant builders.

Hold on Lyn, your RELATIVES are watching you like HAWKS. They can't wait to feed on your supposedly dead body because they BELIEVE that you have ended your hopes of a glamorous career BECAUSE you have taken the FATAL step to leave London. This will be their opportunity to flaunt their stupid kids aka. child prodigies who are currently slutting their ways abroad in multinational corporations and overrrated London universities.

WELCOME HOME LYN. WELCOME HOME.
I THINK THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.


----------------------------
NOTE: Sorry for the lack of updates (again!) I just got my ass back to SoutheastAsia and am currently renovating my bedroom! Too much to do. Too much to settle....
Tommorrow I will leave for Beijing China for a week to track down my ethnic roots..

I will be back in time to post the first series of THE SPANISH CHRONICLES.....brace yourselves and get those PCs fixed!

15 comments:

Caracola said...

JAJAJAJAJAJA!!! LMAO!! how mean are they!! you look gorgeous babe the way you are!! they don't know what the good stuff IS! oh well, too bad they are missing that! i can't wait for ur Spanish cronics lol!!! hope u are enjoying dinner now!

MUACKSSSSSSSSSS and enjoy China!!!!!!!!*love u!*

Simple American said...

Oi mui. slow down you're typing too fast. haha

Keep the tan. They better change for you. I'm waiting for the relatives to learn that you are more than quite alive.

Leave ya hug and know I'm way over here for ya.

oceanskies79 said...

The photo of the Great Wall is well-taken. Have fun searching for your roots.

Anonymous said...

Lyn!!! have great fun in China!! Cant wait to read another Chinese Chronicles!! Btw, still no post for you here. Will continue keeping a lookout. Take care, and good luck with the renovation!! love and hugs!

shirl

Anonymous said...

Tans give you skin cancer.

John

P.S. I like my boys. Thanks.

sasfdasfdljkfksdjkfjsd said...

excellent rant, have a great trip to china!

Kunstemæcker said...

Wow ... that was well written.

I didn't know that people frowned upon a tan? That's so medieval.

Screw them, I think everyone looks better with a bit of a tan.

socialpest said...

those ppl can shove their pale faces up their own pale asses. haha. waiting for your spanish cronicles!!

have fun in beijing! wo ai ni. haha. :)

Caracola said...

JAJAJA! LOVED UR COMENT sOCIAL!!! ;)

vincent said...

oiks welcome back!

tanned chicks are good la..too white like steamed chicken only..

mistipurple said...

gee, i posted a lot of places in my sleep. where have they all gone?

Supermans Foot said...

I am braced. My computer is ready. Excitement is taking over

Jess said...

lyn lyn lyn, I have a standard saying that would be perfect for those pale nay-sayers but its hardly appropriate to post where delicate eyeballs tred.
Have fun in China! I just attended a lecture by Howard French about Chinese economic policy. I'm researching the country lucky enough to be your roots!

camera shy said...

great walll!

looks slippery


and that water is filled so full with fish

Yng Lyn said...

awww.. thanks to all of you! such sweet comments!! apart from Johns' that is.. LOL!!
looks like I have developed some sort of complex since I got back to M'sia.....and due to busy busy days ahead of me, I am robbed of the luxury to enjoy what I love most.. such as days of hanging out with my dear Caracolacolacola by the beach, harassing Kor Kor on YM, shopping and pigging out with my dearest Shirl, beating John up in the middle of the London streets, kicking Kunstemaecker outside the pub, seeking inspiration on poetic Misti's, crazy Socialpest, bizzarre superman's foot and lovely birthday girl Jess's blogs?
I MISS YOU ALL!! MUACKSSSSS!!!!!!