Thursday, November 03, 2005
Are you local?
A salesman in a shoe shop asked me,
'ARE YOU LOCAL?'
I wanted to maul him. Like a lion stranded in a famine for 4 weeks.
I am speaking of a MALAYSIAN asking a MALAYSIAN whether she's MALAYSIAN.
Okay. WELCOME HOME, LYN. You have chosen to dwell in your supposed birthplace where your own people can't even tell that you have spent 18 years of your life breathing local air and investing heavily in their shoe (and food) industry.
You may even have to ditch your 'universal' english accent in order to be understood.
Speak S L O W Y, I mean.
and what about your 20hrs of sunlight-MEDITERRANEAN TAN- acquired from ESPANA? Well ditch it as well. Because it is considered UGLY. According to the chinese malaysians anyway. Apparently they do not want their sons to marry you because you apparently look like you've been slaving it out at the construction site in harmony with the immigrant builders.
Hold on Lyn, your RELATIVES are watching you like HAWKS. They can't wait to feed on your supposedly dead body because they BELIEVE that you have ended your hopes of a glamorous career BECAUSE you have taken the FATAL step to leave London. This will be their opportunity to flaunt their stupid kids aka. child prodigies who are currently slutting their ways abroad in multinational corporations and overrrated London universities.
WELCOME HOME LYN. WELCOME HOME.
I THINK THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
NOTE: Sorry for the lack of updates (again!) I just got my ass back to SoutheastAsia and am currently renovating my bedroom! Too much to do. Too much to settle....
Tommorrow I will leave for Beijing China for a week to track down my ethnic roots..
I will be back in time to post the first series of THE SPANISH CHRONICLES.....brace yourselves and get those PCs fixed!