SCORCHED IN SIN CITY

BLiNGinG In NEVADA
Originally uploaded by slamducky.

Crooning on my STEREO: Careless Whisper by 2 PLAY

Bet no one missed me but here's a grand announcement:

I AM BACK

Fuck. I am ORANGE. LAS VEGAS WAS FRIGGING HOT.

HOT.

In a literal sense, the temperature was scorching above 100 degrees god knows fahrenheit. I didn't give a shit about UV index the first time I went there when I was, like, 13. Almost a decade later, after my gorgeous evolution into a TANOREXIC..... guess what?

I AM BURNT.

Burnt beyond RECOGNITION. Even my hair turned GINGER. It was all my own doing. PAH.

Now, in terms of metaphor, women are HOT in Vegas.
5 in every 10 women I saw had their boobs done.

FUCK. I felt like a walking frying pan. It was the first time I was tempted to stuff McD's beef patties into my bikini.

SAD, I KNOW.

No. I didn't get a boob job.
And No, I didn't do a BRITNEY.

Not that I was pissed enough at any point to PROPOSE to any unfortunate clubber. Bear in mind that this was an intended FAMILY HOLIDAY. Instead I had to make do partying with CELINE DION and DAVID COPPERFIELD. So FUNKY indeed.....

After 6 days of stretch limos, unlimited champagne, high rolling and private jets I headed to SAN FRANCISCO for the third time in 20 years.

Locked myself in the Alcatraz and thus blogging from there....