Thursday, July 21, 2005
SCORCHED IN SIN CITY
Bet no one missed me but here's a grand announcement:
I AM BACK
Fuck. I am ORANGE. LAS VEGAS WAS FRIGGING HOT.
In a literal sense, the temperature was scorching above 100 degrees god knows fahrenheit. I didn't give a shit about UV index the first time I went there when I was, like, 13. Almost a decade later, after my gorgeous evolution into a TANOREXIC..... guess what?
I AM BURNT.
Burnt beyond RECOGNITION. Even my hair turned GINGER. It was all my own doing. PAH.
Now, in terms of metaphor, women are HOT in Vegas.
5 in every 10 women I saw had their boobs done.
FUCK. I felt like a walking frying pan. It was the first time I was tempted to stuff McD's beef patties into my bikini.
SAD, I KNOW.
No. I didn't get a boob job.
And No, I didn't do a BRITNEY.
Not that I was pissed enough at any point to PROPOSE to any unfortunate clubber. Bear in mind that this was an intended FAMILY HOLIDAY. Instead I had to make do partying with CELINE DION and DAVID COPPERFIELD. So FUNKY indeed.....
After 6 days of stretch limos, unlimited champagne, high rolling and private jets I headed to SAN FRANCISCO for the third time in 20 years.
Locked myself in the Alcatraz and thus blogging from there....