Lyn's Q&A.... THE ANSWERS!!!!!!!

Crooning on my STEREO: I'd Be Surprisingly Good For You by MADONNA

I've had another breakdown recently, (which is becoming a norm) so apologies on my part for the DELAY....
HERE ARE (FINALLY) THE ANSWERS TO ALL YOUR QUESTIONS!!!!!!

Anonymous asked...
What is your shoe size? ;)
UK 5, thank you.
The sole of my shoes came off in the middle of Tottenham Court Road this morning...... so I want my MANOLOs NOW!!!!!!!!!!

John said...
I have had a pigeon shit on my head three times in my life; and on each occassion I felt shit (quite literally). My question is: Have you ever ridden a horse without the saddle and; what's wrong with Chinese guys (I must remind those who are reading that I AM NOT CHINESE.)
No, I've never attempted riding a horse without a saddle. And no, there is absolutely NOTHING WRONG with Chinese guys cos YOU are NOT chinese!!!!

P.S. Would you date Lampard if his name was Jean-Luc Derac and came from Normandy?
Nahhhhhhh,,,,, you know how much I LOOOOOOOVE FRANK LAMPARD. His COCKNEY accent turns me ON........... (I told you several times before, innit?)

P.P.S. Why are single mothers single?
God knows. This is a free world.

P.P.P.S. Malaysia is void of culture. Discuss.
Go to http://kakiseni.com and see for yourself.

God said...
I am God. This is my question. Are you greater than me?
OF COURSE!!! I'm sure you created me for a reason.

Anonymous asked...
Are you considered posh in Malaysia?
Nope, I am a professional scrounger back home. Such is life.

Anonymous asked...
Are you smarter than your sister? Are you better looking that your sister? If you and your sister were to have a fight, who would prevail? When you were younger did you use to kick each other and burn each other's clothes?
My sister is a genius. She is thinner, fairer and less trashy than me. If we were to have a fight she'd certainly kick my ass. And no, we didn't play with fire when little. We played with knives.....

Anonymous said..
What is visual culture?
Visual culture is a prestigious joint honors degree catered for REAL thinkers and the descendants of Raphael.

Fintan asked...
Are you married?
I am afraid so. However, if you could grant me an immediate doctorate i may alter my present status.

Noah asked...
If you were an animal, which animal would you be?
I'd be a bassett hound. Dogs have it much easier these days.

Anonymous asked...
What is the best way of dumping someone?
from someone who needs to dump someone
You know, the best way is to tell them that you're manic depressive and by looking at his/her face will instigate your attempts at suicide.
80% success rate.

Mike the Magician asked...
can do any tricks?
Yes, I can do a David Blaine.. get me a glass container and suspend it over the Big Ben. See you in three days!

Rubeboi said...
Yoo yoo wassup.. i is well bad... wassup... me queschun eesssss why is u sooo bling?
Yoo yoo wassupp, me is soooo bling cos me brovaz hang gun in da hoooood..... dark child dark child... Be-yon-sayyyy is mee sista and me bling from Clairezz Accessooorrieezz....

My bestest friend asked...
Who do you fancy? kekeke
Iker Casillas, Jose Antonio Reyes, Cesc Fabregas, Fernando Morientes, Kaka, Paolo Maldini, Thierry Henry, Frank Lampard, Alessandro Nesta, Raul, Vincente, Pablo Aimar, Adrian Mutu, Franco Citti, David Bisbal, Diego Luna, Arsenie Toderras, Gael Garcia Bernal, Caravaggio and that French dude from IL Divo.

Cajones asked...
have you ever picked your nose and flicked the bogey at or in the direction of someone?
15 years ago... perhaps? I might have even eaten it!!!

Anonymous asked...
SEX or LADYBOY?
SEX, you DINGBAT!!!!

vincent asked...
1) Would you prefer to shag Ruud van Nistelrooy or Wayne Rooney?
Ruud Van Nistelrooy. So that I can brag that I've bedded a Dutch DONKEY. That's a feat y'know. Anyway he's so DUMB he probably wouldn't know whats a shag anyway.... so I can get away with it.
*PUKE*

2) If Casillas AND Reyes go to Manyoo, would you support them?
I KNEW YOU WOULD ASK THIS......
NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN... NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOO
If that happens..... I will shift my loyalty to AC MILAN and SWEAR NEVER to look at REYES and CASILLAS ever again in my life!!!! Fuck..... it better NOT HAPPEN... ARRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

eyeris asked...
1) Would you go out with a Man Utd supporter who just happens to be the perfect man of your dreams? :)
Nooo , noooo, noooo.... any Man Utd supporter is certainly wiped out from my wish list..... unless he resembles REYES, ermm... hold on.....DAMN, you caught me there.....

2) Would you do a full frontal nude scene in a movie? If no, then what about if it turned out to be the biggest break of your acting career and you know you'd hit the big time after that role?
If I do flash my naked body in front of ANYBODY (let alone a film camera) it will DEFINITELY spell the ultimate DESTRUCTION of my CAREER..... My agent will flip, my stylist will shoot himself and my photographer will throw himself off a mountain.

Yeah. I am THAT hideous...

3) Given a chance, which celebrity would you like to sleep with, and what would you like to do to him? :)
Gael Garcia Bernal, I'd get him drunk and spend the entire night STARING at him.
Oh yeah, I'll make him recite his lines from El Crimen del Padre Amaro to me........ SWOOOONNNNNNNN....

Suef asked...
WHATS YOUR LONDON ADDRESSS???? ;) heh.
Its 47, Fitzroy St., Fitzrovia, adjacent to Euston Road, 1min walk from Warren St. Station, 3 tube stops from Highbury, 5mins walk from UCL, 2mins walk from Great Portland St., 2 mins walk to Regent's Park, 1 tube stop from Oxford Circus, 30mins walk to Camden Market...........

Anonymous asked...
Have you ever done a wet fart?
I wish I had but never had the guts to.

Anonymous asked...
What is your purpose in life?
To CRY.
as well as to fill up the global population quota.... damnnit.

Anonymous asked...
What is my purpose in life?
Your purpose in life is to listen to me whinge, wail and rant.
And to WORSHIP me when I become LEGENDARY.

I hate to say this but it's the truth.

Anonymous asked...
If you were to serenade me with a romantic poem, what would it be?
Romeo Romeo Where Art Thou?
Below the balcony milking the Cow,
Romeo Romeo I love thee
I'd been stalking thee since you were three.
Romeo Romeo will you marry me?
I know you cannot resist t'is divine me.....

Anonymous asked...
Who's better looking: J-Lo or Beyonce?
J- Lo cos we share the same clothes and butt size, same tan, same crap acting talent...
And she stole MARC ANTHONY from me.
Lucky Biatch.....

eyeris said...
This is the tabloid reporter in me talking:
1) If you were to be caught having sex outdoors with any cebrity, who would it be?
It would be Iker Casillas cos I reckon I'd be more famous than Rebecca Loos and score more acting jobs courtesy of News Of The World.

2) How high do you think you would rank in the FHM Top 100 Sexiest women in the world poll?
FIFTH. With my virtuosity I will allow J.Lo, Beyonce, Catherine Zeta Jones and Monica Bellucci to top the list.
As long as I beat Keira Knightley, Scarlett Johansson and Zhang ZiYi... thats all.

3) What's the thrashiest outfit you've ever worn?
A bling tube top and a EastEnd denim miniskirt to a CHRISTIAN X'mas Party in a CHURCH. I swear I was misinformed and I felt like a total whore awaiting her repentance on holy grounds....

4) ok, gun to head time: WHICH is better, STAR WARS or LORD OF THE RINGS?!?!?!?!!?! :)
Man..... I hate to break yer heart but it would have to be... LORD OF THE RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!
No offence but Yoda who holds the worst command of English Grammar in the history of film....'Obi Wan, I see....' This is so bad for my mental health!

Shoot Me, Eyeris!!!!!!!!! Puuuuuhhhhllleeeessseeeeeeeeee! I'm begging ya!!!!!!! :(

Mi Cariño asked...
what is it like to spend a weekend with you?
Honestly, at this point of my life..... it will just be beer, football, McDs, Microsoft Word, British Film Institute, reciting amateur scripts and crying on the phone.
Forgive me, I've recently lost all sense of enthusiasm and adventure.. sigh.

can a guy ever meet your casillas and reyes ideal guy requirements,
if so, how?
Casillas and Reyes aren't perfect, they're just torches in my bleak passage of existence. Anyone who can convince me entirely that life is worth living is godsent, and only God knows when he will walk into my life. Or is he already there?
(I'm a converted fan of cheesy rhetorical questions, so just ignore me..)

if you ever meet the love of your life(reyes or casillas, or a look a like) what will you say to them person?
If I meet Reyes or Casillas in flesh and blood........ I may COLLAPSE and DIE before I could say anything!!
Such a waste, I know.

stephanie said...
Here's the million dollar question (think before you answer):
Who do u love most? Me or Jose Reyes? :p bwahaha
Hahaahah... I love you Stef!!!
Do I inherit a million dollars for saying that??? ;) Nah I don't love Reyes cos he doesn't love meeeeee :(

Haf you ever gotten so seriously angry at anything/one that you wanna rip them apart and mesh em into goo and stomp on the pulp?
Truth is, I've never been soooo pissed off at a person as much as myself. If I wanna rip someone apart, it would have to be ME. I will question my intolerance, patience and lack of sympathy towards this pathetic world... if i can't forgive the world for its stupidity, I would have failed as a human. Therefore, ripping myself apart would be good for awakening my conscience... (*possessed by Rosellini*)

Why on earth are you finishing so fast?!!!! >.<
Cos I bribed the university registrar, threatened the dean and blackmailed the tertiary industry....
Man, I'm GOOD.
I should consider a marriage proposal from a Sicilian Mafia.

Anonymous said...
Three men walk into a bar that you're in. One has an eye-patch and a parrot on his shoulder; one cannot stop twitching every five seconds; and one cannot say anything without rapping. Which of these men are you likely to talk to and why?
I would go for the PIRATE. He could be Johnny Depp in disguise and I love animals, so having a parrot on your shoulder is a plus! As for the Twitcher, it will certainly piss the hell outta me cos eye-twitching is a downright distracting habit. NO NO.... As for the rapper, I will have problems deciphering his thoughts, I mean, for goodness sake... I don't even know what Eminem's been waffling over for the past 3 years!!! (something to do with his estranged wife and george bush?)

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WOW! Answering your heartfelt questions took me over AN HOUR!!!! THANKS A MILLION for all your curiosities and it was good therapy pondering over such tabloid attacks, this is worthwhile training for any Fellini's child!!!Thanks once again, because for the first time in weeks, I managed a sincere smile....

Life's tough,
No wonder Kurt Cobain took his own life.