Friday, May 20, 2005

Crawling Back.....

Crooning on my STEREO: Lonely by AKON

It has been painful.
Too often have I woken up to reclaim (again and again) that my existence bears no purpose in this world.

But I am getting BETTER

And it is all thanks to every single one of you who left messages on my blog, my phone, my e-mail or at the very least greeted me with a simple 'Hi' on MSN.

Really, all these gestures mean a HELL LOT to me. Something assures me that you all care for me.

I don't care how much, because it is up to you. But the great news (to me) is that at least I crossed your minds.

And that itself is A BLESSING.

What scared me the most is that FRIENDS who claim(ed) to care simply VANISHED.
God knows where they all went.
To HELL I suppose.
Or they try to enrapture me with excuses that they have their own shit to deal with.

Whatever it is,I survived.
My chemical imbalance could have ended everything sometime last week.

After receiving therapeutic calls from home everyday,
I realised that IT ISN'T SO BAD after all.
All I need is a doctor.

And those of you who CARE.

Give me a few days, a Victory for Arsenal, a Victory for Spain at the Eurovision... and I will be just FINE.

Thanks so much to the handful of you who left messages on the last post, spoke to my over the phone and last but not least, My Mum who has been there for me.
God bless you all.

7 comments:

Kunstemæcker said...

Well, I can absolutely relate to what you're saying. I lived in Spain myself (don't know if I've said it before but anyway) and I have lost friends in Belgium, where I come from. When I moved back from Spain, I lost friends there as well.

What I've learned is simple: that's life, deal with it.

People come and people go. I know it hurts, you are definitely not alone it your pain, but instead of focusing your energy on this loss, focus it on new people you might meet, or new experiences.

In any case, you thank people for posting comments on your previous post, which is nice, but bear in mind, it's easy to be compassionate over the internet. All I want to say is, when I post this (in a few seconds) it's because I relate and I mean what I say.

Don't take things too hard Señorita Lyn. Tenemos una vida para vivirla.

Seng Boon said...

hah...well cousin, i think it would be easier to say hi to you more often if you got your MSN fixed... ;)

Yng Lyn said...

Kunstemaecker: What you said is very true, it is difficult when friends come and go...thus it is easy to be enraptured by solitude. I guess the heart of my problems is that I am feeling rather displaced; which was exactly what you meant about moving from one place to another and losing friends along the way. Thanks so much for understanding!
This is the first time I've broken down, i am usually able to deal with all sorts of earth shatters but this time around I've given into psychological trauma, apparently its a medical condition. But I am dealing with it... so far :)
¡Muchas gracias! Tenemos una vida para vivirla tambien.....¡Ahora soy mas feliz!

Zack: Yes cousin, you did speak to me during the rare moment when my internet did not disconnect... so that counted you into my good books ;)

vincent said...

booooo for the arse...Boooo!

Yng Lyn said...

vincent: Arse played shit crap and Reyes was bloody useless.....
seriously hats off to Man Yoo, they were frigging good....
(can't believe i just said that)

Simple American said...

Wow great post by the K-man. Hope you two have a great weekend.

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