Thursday, June 10, 2004

Read Between the Lines: PART 2

(Andre Breton, thanks for granting me a degree.)
Certain words have certain connotations. Por ejemplo,

Case #1: When it comes to appearance, you are often referred to as 'CUTE'. Never as 'gorgeous', 'beautiful' or 'pretty'.
Definition: 'Cute' defines a fat kid, a wailing baby, your bulldog or a bloated NEMO. Can that be flattering?

Case #2: People often describe you as 'SWEET' and 'NICE'.
Definition: 'SWEET' categorises you as some sort of flower which attracts honey sucking insects such as bees. 'NICE' is the most mundane word in the dictionary. People only use it when they have nothing to say about you.

Case #3: Asianphillics (aka 'gwailos' who have fetishes for exotic chinese girls) in clubs thinks you are 'sexy'.
Definition: Just because you are chatted up by someone of a different race does not literally mean that you are physically attractive. 'Sexy' positions you as a harlot; they see you as available for sex. Don't forget that clubs are badly lit places, no one can really see what the hell you look like. Chances are, your male protagonist is drunk.

Case #4: You go home to Malaysia after being away for more than 6 months. Your grandmother looks at you in horror and says, 'Wah..... You're soooo thin!!'
Definition: According to Chinese tradition, being thin represents a biological famine (malnourish) and consequently indicates that you were living in Satan's lair; an unbearable post-war condition away from home.

Case #5: You have just collected your results. You get 100 missed calls and texts on your mobile phone. One text says,'How did you do?? I am sure you did great! I am sooo happy for you.' The sender is someone who failed his/her exams.
Definition: The 'I am so happy for you' bit is a LIE. He/she is hoping that you have failed as well so that he/she wont be the lone victim of misfortune. The 'I am sure you did great,' bit is a deceptive act of emotional blackmail so that you will owe him/her a favour for not telling them your results.

6 comments:

vincent said...

cute - ugly but adorable

heeheheh......when girls call guys cute...its a compliment yeah? but when guys call girls cute -- its not...cute is someone i would like to pick up with my two fingers and put her in my shirt pocket...like a tiny fairy....ahahahahahah

Yng Lyn said...

true true... agree! hahaha i think its engrained into the female species to call guys cute. LOL. I think handsome is more flattering than cute..... oh well, i am not sure how the world works.....

SHiRL said...

LYN!! haha..i could relate VERY WELL to case number 3!! These so called 'sexy' girls should STOP thinking that they are gwailos-magnets! Gwailos are too drunk to see beneath the ultra-thick make-up some girls plaster on their face to hide their flaws!!! I think their skin are gasping for more oxygen!!!

Yng Lyn said...

LOL, definitely shirl!!!! we can name a list of examples..... ;)

Simple American said...

#1 I would never call a girl anything but cute. Don't want to inflate her head or it might burst and I get stuck cleaning up the mess. Now I'm married, so this doesn't matter as I am not seeking to meet anyone. But back then I would call you cute (or any other girl) and not think of you as fat, a baby, or Nemo. WTF is Nemo? Showing my age mei mei. Cute to me means cute and not so bad to be around.

#2 I find sweet sexy even to point of melting my heart. In fact in the past sweet has been beyond my means. Damn I must be a sad case.

#3 I am guilty of being gwailoh and prolly asianneophile. Pale white women don't do nothing for me. Course it probably did not hurt that my mom always spoke of Chinese women being so beautiful and perfect like the china doll. I guess I believed mom. snif snif she was right. Right?

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