Drink Football, Eat Football, Sleep Football

Symptoms of Euro 2004 fever.
(Based on a personal diagnosis.)

a)You begin every conversation with ANY HUMAN (friends, postman, kebab boy, taxi driver, bin collector, etc) with, 'Did you watch the country A vs country B match??'

b)You spend an average of 4 hours in the local pub every day, watching consecutive Euro matches from 5pm till 9pm.

c)You emerge as a laddish hooligan. You throw glass beer bottles at jubilant fans of the rival team which has just gathered 3 points.

d)If you are a girl, you find yourself roaring like a disgrunted dinosaur every time a good attacking cross is manouvered. Your interest on vanity issues, such as Raul's waxed legs, dramatically diminishes.

e)When your team is trailing a loss of 0-5, you binge drink expired ale and nourish your lungs with a year's supply of nicotine.

f)Without much thought, you dump your girlfriend who hogs the telly watching Big Brother.

g)For one month, you are the godsent patriot. Your daily wardrobe consists of St. George t-shirts, national flags as sarongs and headgear proclaiming radical nationalism.

h)Lardbrokes becomes your favourite pre-match haunt.

i)Your mood swings like a pendulum and your friends are cautious of you. They can more or less predict when to approach you depending on match scores.
Your mobile is strangely quiet when your team has just conceded a goal.

j)You make friends with bald beer-bellied England supporters in dodgy bars. You also share the same table as townies in pubs. Yet you do not complain.

k)You live on chips and burgers.

L)You swear and curse so much that everyone thinks you have Tourette's disease.

M)Mp3 playing on loop on your Winamp- 'Lightning Seed's 'Football's coming Home......'