25

Crooning on my STEREO: Puede Ser by AMAIA MONTERO y EL CANTO DEL LOCO

Although I am itching, itching, itching to.... I have TRIED to refrain from bitching about anyone on this blog till, ermmm, August.

But I can't help it. Because by good old August I would have lost all that bitch inspiration. That would have defeated my fundamental principle of being honest, eh?
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So here's the story. Sometime ago, at a friend's birthday party, I met a Malaysian Z-list "actress" with a fancy caucasian name and surname. (That was a pseudonym. I later found out that her real name was plain 'Farah,' an equivalent to 'Jane' by western standards)

This scrawny fool tripped over and introduced herself, 'Oh HELLO, I don't know your name but my name is ABC.'

And so I had a rather intelligent conversation with her: (my innermost thoughts are in brackets.)

ABC: Ohhhh, Hello I am an actress.
(she didn't look like one. To be honest)

Me: Oh me too! I WAS an actress. (note the past tense)

ABC: Yeahhh I am can't wait to go to RADA* this October for my MASTERS in Acting!!!
(* RADA is a performing arts institute in Reading, UK- not exactly the best but decent enough for aspiring actresses who can afford the fees.)

Me: Congrats! Good on ya!
(thinks: OMG, so many dumb people are admitted into Masters these days. Unbelievable. Another point to note is that talented actresses don't ACTUALLY do a Masters. They try to get professional jobs..)

ABC: Yeahhh so I guess you studied in UK before eh?? Whats Reading like?? the nightlife??

Me: Reading is very COOL. I know people who get pissed on fancy bars every night there.
(thinks: hahahahahahahaha )

ABC: OMG GOD... REAAAAAAALLLLYYYY???? I am sooooo gonna get my own flat and BRING BOYS HOME!!!

Me: Hell, yeah!!!
(thinks: such a dumbass. *rolls eyes*)

ABC: You know... the thing about my looks is that I only appeal to Americans and Europeans!!! I mean, I can't get good jobs in Malaysia but I know I will succeed abroad!! I once did a program for a Dutch producer*... blah, blah, blah...
(* I later found out that this "Dutch" producer is commissioned by our very own RTM to source cheap local talents for shoestring projects. Not exactly an achievement to brag about.)

Me: Yeah I guess every territorial market has their own set of appeal...
(thinks: but I know you will never fit into any because your nostrils are too big.)

ABC: Sooo you know any agents in London???

Me: Of course I do. What type? Do you have a showreel? And a black n white headshot without make up?
(thinks: any working "actress" should know these bloody kindergarten prerequisites. DOH.)

ABC looks at me blankly.

And I never gave her my agents' contacts.

You can check out ABC's one and only "head shot" HERE. She is the one with the flashy caucasian fake name and a standard overdone metallic make up. Believe me, just like most M'sian talents, she looks nothing like that in flesh.

One piece of advice: You can get away with that sort of extreme makeover in Malaysia, but international talent agencies will blatantly ask you to scrape all that foundation off.

But by then she would be too hideous to score any big jobs. Ooops.

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Another reason why I am in such a great mood to bitch is that:

ESPANA ARE NOW EUROPEAN CHAMPIONS!!!!!

You would recognize this towel flag on my gate from two World Cups ago. Yes, I waited THAT long.

And we got what we want because we bloody hell FOUGHT for it....

BRING ON 25!!!!!

Cinco Dias mas.

5 days till I leave Malaga for Londres.
And a hell lot of photos are on the way.........

Prelude to the Spanish Chronicles

Crooning on my STEREO: Speed of Sound by COLDPLAY

Hola mi amigos!!!
Yo estoy en ESPANA!!!

Okay peeps I have been away for two weeks and it has gone by like a blitzkrieg. Next saturday I will be making my way back to London where reality will whack me in the head. I will also be seeing some of my dearest friends for the last time in a very long time, so my psyche is submerged in the form of ensalada mixta.

So much has happened in the last few weeks that I can´t put it all down in a single post. I have never ever felt so good in my entire life. Sometimes I even question what the fuck I have done to deserve all this. I am not talking about boyfriends and all that shit. I am speaking about discovering that

LIFE HAS SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR.

As soon as I manage to upload a whole load of photos sometime week after next, I will launch a series of Spanish Chronicles. I wont say more about it, but i can assure you that it will be fun to read! (think drunk nights, constipation, serenading Spaniards.. etc)

SENORITA LYN IS A CHANGED PERSON!!!!

And I will be meeting lovely Caracolacola tommorrow in Marbella and this weekend I will head to Sevilla. Life really does not get any better than this....... ME GUSTA MUCHO MUCHO MUCHO MUCHO MUCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Mucho besos y abrazos para todo!!

VIVA.

I AM IN SPAIN

okay. I have written a whole load of lovaly things but this damned public computer has masterfully deleted it from me. How's marvellous!

Anyway, i was just saying that I owe you all an explanation for disappearing the last week or so. Truth is that I am currently having some of the best times of my life.. at this very moment.

At this moment as I write, I am living a 4 year old dream which is still, in a faze, seem unreal to me. Ive learnt that I do not need a man to make me happy. Ive learnt that food is not the consolation to displaced grief.

I have learnt that life is just ahead of me. So I decided to take an action.

On the 22nd of September, I packed my bags and left.

I found myself in Calais Frethun, where Kracker drove me across the French border into a lovely seaside town of Koljside, Belgium. The next day we were in Bruges and then in a lovely local town of Vuerne. The next day, at barely 8 in the morning we took a detour into Cap Blanc Nez, which i believe is France's best kept secret. I recall what I said... 'I think I found Heaven!'.
I owe it all to Kracker and his genorosity for giving some of the best holidays I've ever had despite embarassing myself infront of him, his family and their friends!

I left Belgium barely 24hours ago and now I am plunked in MALAGA. I can't believe this. Nothing is sinking in. In a few days time I will be heading to Cordoba and Granada. And then I will also meet the gorgeous Caracolacolacola too!!

Okay, in case this goddamned comp fucks up on me again, I better go. Time to catch the sun, find myself and live life MY WAY.

Yes. I am VERY HAPPY. TOO HAPPY.

LOVE TO YOU ALL FROM SPAIN... as my credit is running out i am unable to visit all your blogs but you are all on my mind.
HUGS!

Once upon a time...

Crooning on my STEREO: Stranded by JENNIFER PAIGE

Once upon a time, I used to take the piss out of first year undergrads scrounging the streets after 3am. They are usually pissed. These pack of 'girlies' are scantily dressed and they cling on to their girlfriends for dear life to maintain their grip on the road. After that they shamelessly puke (aka. pollute) several times by the roadside. Strange black (and warm) liquid usually flow from their mouths like some goddamn waterfall. Their girlfriends will rummage through their handbags for some tissue. Then they get onto a cab. And then puke through the window.

LAST NIGHT, I DID THE EXACT SAME THING.

Fucking hell. I never knew this day will ever come. Someone please slap me.