25

Crooning on my STEREO: Puede Ser by AMAIA MONTERO y EL CANTO DEL LOCO

Although I am itching, itching, itching to.... I have TRIED to refrain from bitching about anyone on this blog till, ermmm, August.

But I can't help it. Because by good old August I would have lost all that bitch inspiration. That would have defeated my fundamental principle of being honest, eh?
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So here's the story. Sometime ago, at a friend's birthday party, I met a Malaysian Z-list "actress" with a fancy caucasian name and surname. (That was a pseudonym. I later found out that her real name was plain 'Farah,' an equivalent to 'Jane' by western standards)

This scrawny fool tripped over and introduced herself, 'Oh HELLO, I don't know your name but my name is ABC.'

And so I had a rather intelligent conversation with her: (my innermost thoughts are in brackets.)

ABC: Ohhhh, Hello I am an actress.
(she didn't look like one. To be honest)

Me: Oh me too! I WAS an actress. (note the past tense)

ABC: Yeahhh I am can't wait to go to RADA* this October for my MASTERS in Acting!!!
(* RADA is a performing arts institute in Reading, UK- not exactly the best but decent enough for aspiring actresses who can afford the fees.)

Me: Congrats! Good on ya!
(thinks: OMG, so many dumb people are admitted into Masters these days. Unbelievable. Another point to note is that talented actresses don't ACTUALLY do a Masters. They try to get professional jobs..)

ABC: Yeahhh so I guess you studied in UK before eh?? Whats Reading like?? the nightlife??

Me: Reading is very COOL. I know people who get pissed on fancy bars every night there.
(thinks: hahahahahahahaha )

ABC: OMG GOD... REAAAAAAALLLLYYYY???? I am sooooo gonna get my own flat and BRING BOYS HOME!!!

Me: Hell, yeah!!!
(thinks: such a dumbass. *rolls eyes*)

ABC: You know... the thing about my looks is that I only appeal to Americans and Europeans!!! I mean, I can't get good jobs in Malaysia but I know I will succeed abroad!! I once did a program for a Dutch producer*... blah, blah, blah...
(* I later found out that this "Dutch" producer is commissioned by our very own RTM to source cheap local talents for shoestring projects. Not exactly an achievement to brag about.)

Me: Yeah I guess every territorial market has their own set of appeal...
(thinks: but I know you will never fit into any because your nostrils are too big.)

ABC: Sooo you know any agents in London???

Me: Of course I do. What type? Do you have a showreel? And a black n white headshot without make up?
(thinks: any working "actress" should know these bloody kindergarten prerequisites. DOH.)

ABC looks at me blankly.

And I never gave her my agents' contacts.

You can check out ABC's one and only "head shot" HERE. She is the one with the flashy caucasian fake name and a standard overdone metallic make up. Believe me, just like most M'sian talents, she looks nothing like that in flesh.

One piece of advice: You can get away with that sort of extreme makeover in Malaysia, but international talent agencies will blatantly ask you to scrape all that foundation off.

But by then she would be too hideous to score any big jobs. Ooops.

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Another reason why I am in such a great mood to bitch is that:

ESPANA ARE NOW EUROPEAN CHAMPIONS!!!!!

You would recognize this towel flag on my gate from two World Cups ago. Yes, I waited THAT long.

And we got what we want because we bloody hell FOUGHT for it....

BRING ON 25!!!!!

Suddden Death

Crooning on my STEREO: Non Puedo Explicar by LAURA PAUSINI

First of all, apologies for the update delay. My faithful 4yr old IBook died a sudden death the night before I took off for Rome. I am distressed. I have lost 4 years worth of hard drive memory in a blitzkrieg. Please refrain from sending me wreaths.

This is a metaphor of life's unpredictability. Anyone of us is prone to a heart attack any second from now.

Eeesh.

Morbidity aside. I assume that you guys are checking out this page for photos of my annual bash.


To suss out who went this year, fotografias are here. I wish I had more time to snap EVERYBODY, but i guess there is only so much you can drink and hold the camera steadily at the same time. And not to lose it.

If you are a busybody, piccies from the 2006 bash are here. And I gather that people were far more drunk last year.

OK. Short Post. I am now back home in Perugia. Savoring Umbria Jazz with my beloved Limoncello. And my boss will eventually fire me for taking a week off ad-hoc.

But Life Is Short.

Fudge career. At this point I don't need one. Play when you can. Whatever that makes you happy.

Ci Vediamo, i miei amici!!!!!!!!!!!

08.07.06

Crooning on my STEREO: Promiscuous Woman by NELLY FURTADO

Okay, say hello to the mother of all drunkfests...


LYN'S ANNUAL SUMMER BASH @ VELVET UNDERGROUND 2006!!!!!

Endless bottles of Smirnoff Reds, a smashing bass and an overflowing guestlist...
I'd like to thank the 60++ guests who turned up and rocked the PARTAYYYYYYYYY!!!!

I hate to turn his into a slut blog, but because I owe a whole lot of you pictures from that night, I am going to post a handful up here. You are going to be so sick of seeing my face in every photograph.

Cousins Sharon and gorgeous Sarah kickin' up the night!!!

Everybody seems to be involved with Shopping Queen Stephanie in some way or another.

Clubbing buddy Jen and I share the same foolishness for good-looking bastards... but hey, its their loss right??

Drinking buddy/ cousin Kev 'Yum Chao' and lovely Denise forcing Jack Daniel's down my throat... and yet I wasn't pissed for the night, bah!

Party gals Su Yong and Kristy.... half way through to intoxication!

The pretty GIS clan: Aaron, Kaveh, Su Yong and Stef... and I just realised I'd poured half a glass of lychee martini all over my top.

My dearie Syat on a high as you can see through her mystical eyes... hoi, they are contact lenses!!!!!!

Kenny and wife, I owe the party to them for getting me 10 extra spaces to accomodate my neverending guestlist!! Love you both!!

Dee and I remains comparitively sober.... nothing beats THAT night out in London *cough*

My favourite director Pit with all respect to his dreadlocks... he promised to sort mine out one day!!!
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Armed with a retarded camera, shame I couldn't snap pics of everyone who was there. But there are more bash pics on my desktop, drop me a bell if you want copies!!!

Last but not least, in spite of all that drunken decadence.....
I had a great time. :)

This is the first time 10 years that I've thrown a massive bash to boost my self esteem. Ladies and Gentlemen, Thanks for coming.

06.07.06

Crooning on my STEREO: Geek in the Pink by Jason MRAZ

I have been neglecting this blog. And no one really pops by anymore. That's because I've been neglecting your blogs. Sorry. I have been spending the last 300 hours away from blogger-world, dedicating my time to fellow humans in the real world. But you have to forgive me for that. If I don't visit your blog, you probably wont visit mine. It is fine with me.

Back to the real world, I found it bizzarre how there are people who actually wanted to celebrate my existence in this world.

Check out this smashing surprise in my office one fine morning...

IT IS AN APPLE CRUMBLE!!!!

My dearest collegues Andrea and Elaine fed the entire workplace with food that got all of us sugar high. Well, I blew my ambitious diet down to a size 10 for that weekend. I may be devastated with my ever-increasing flabby thighs,

BUT I STILL LOVE YOU BOTH!!!!!

Then there was the surprise lunch at T.G.I.F.s! To those who still owe me a birthday lunch, remember this:-

I ADORE BIG FAT MAYONAISE and BIG FAT FRENCH FRIES.

Check out that orgasmic face. I think you men disappoint me.