Sunday, February 26, 2006

OSCARS


Crooning on my STEREO:
Rainsong by the MOSQUITOS

When you're in the industry, every Tom Dick and Harry talks cock about Oscar nominees. Exactly a year ago a girl from my drama class scored a leading role in a short film which eventually led her to her (or rather her director's) first Oscar win. I thought that was so cool that she did it. And I didnt. WTF.

Anyway, check this. DID I HEAR IT RIGHT?

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY IS NOMINATED FOR AN OSCAR


Oscar for WHAT?

OSCAR FOR BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

FUCK.


Time to question the world. Nominating Keira for an Oscars is equivalent to nominating Josh Groban a Grammy fot Best HipHop artiste of the year. But then again Scarlett Johansson had won a BAFTA in the Best Actress Category in her excruciatingly deadpan i- am- so- impoverished- and- I- need- a- fuck role of a servant girl in The Girl With A Pearl Earring last year. (or the year before. whatever.) That same unoriginal deadfish performance was then emulated in Lost in Translation.

Suddenly an ocean full of male spectators lusted over her constipated portrayal of a tortured flawless beauty.

Nevermind that. I thought Scarlett's case was a tragic definition of amateur screen acting. One fine summer's day, several footie blokes spotted a particular dumb blonde fiddling with a football in Bend It Like Beckham. GOAL. Say hello to KEIRA KNIGHTLEY.

LOOK. THIS "QUEEN OF POUT" CANNOT ACT.

She just bloody CANT, okay? I aint going to explain further.

You know the natural order is fucked up when some dingbat decides to nominate
KEIRA KNIGHTLEY alongside JUDI DENCH.

What the crap were the Academy dudes thinking? This is purely an execution of a vile sin.
JUDI DENCH IS THE EPITOME OF SCREEN PERFORMANCE IN ALL ITS GREATNESS.

KEIRA KNIGHTLEY DOES NOT ACT. SHE POUTS.

Get it? If the Academy dumbasses had included ZHANG ZIYI into the Best Actresses' Category, I WILL FLIP.

We are actively embracing a whole new generation of useless actresses who do nothing but BROOD, SULK and POUT

Apparently they call that sexy.
Stupid or what?

15 comments:

Kris said...

Hi Lyn!
Hey I love your bitterness and anger! Makes me feel so calm. haha!
But I have to say this, I loved "Girl with a Pearl Earring"....

car@ said...

Lyn: Oscars are for loosers! i have heard is much better to win prizes like golden globes or even smaller contests like Pedro Almodóvar won in NYC, but i am quite ignorant in that. I will surely NOT watch Oscars! :-)
Dear! the world is screwed up! And you know why! ;-P

Jane said...

Hahahaha....I love your opinion...very much like me... hahahahaha...and you just expressed it...for me....I can't stop laughing! Nowadays I just watch Oscar for who dress worst on red carpet!!! hahahaha...

Simple American said...

AhMui. Dumb blondes are easy. That's attractive to every man that thinks with his dick out there.

And the Oscars are all about politics. They don't care about art.

Brighter Death said...

Who are all these people? Seriously, I do not have the slightest idea.

Yng Lyn said...

kris: hahah thanks.. i've been bitter since the day I left europe :(
good luck with your film btw!! looks fab to me!!

cara: thats so true!!! i'd love to win a prize from the Cannes!!! :) or even the Goya awards ;)
true.. world is so screwed up... sigh........
if only things can be better....
hugssss

jane: we have a lot in common... men are horrible!!! its so fun to watch the red carpet... the awards itself is actually pretty boring!! yawnnnnn

kor kor: i definitely agree with you on the Oscars.. it is an overrated ceremony with lots of pretentious people catfigting for the limelight!

brighter: dont bother with the names.. these are bad actresses of the decadent era.
If only Giulietta Masina is still around to inspire jobless actresses like me.

sic6sense said...

blame the jury,not the actress. :P. Anyway, Kiera doesnt tickle my fancy.

lilyliverbird said...

The juries all want to give her one, innit? It's shaggability rather than ability. That's what it all comes down too.

At least in England, plain actresses can cari makan.

Pip said...

What are you TALKING about? Keira Knightly is, like, the next JENNIFER TILLY!

And how can you possibly suggest that Scarlett Johanssen can't act? She's in like 22 movies a year! She pumps out movies like burgers at a fast food joint. Surely that means she can act.

Miss Fern said...

Heck - she even pouts badly.

You speak my too-busy-to-have-an-opinion mind!

:: Penguins! ::

Yng Lyn said...

sicsense: you have great taste!

lily: how true!!!1.... even some fatass like me can cari makan in London.... tapi in malaysia tak ada democracy... :(

Pip: OMG where have you been all these while??? welcome back!!!!
nope nope i still disagree with you though!:P

miss fern: penguins.. penguins.....
hahaha we've been slagging these ppl off the past year or so... time to put it down on paper!

crazycat said...

hehe.. men likes pouts
:)

d4g said...

OMG i hate Kiera's voice...her figure is not too bad, but her voice!! oh my it's soooooo horrible!!!

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