Friday, February 10, 2006

Santiago Valentino


Crooning on my STEREO:
Attention by ROUGE ROUGE

My mobile rang. I picked it up.


Me: HELLO?

Idiot: Hi... its me. *beep*

Me: Oh hello. How are you?

Idiot: Good good. I hope I am not disturbing you with all the missed calls...

Me: Oh no no, I have been busy with work and all....

(me thinks: I detest people who disguise calls under 'Withhold ID.' I smell a fish.)

Idiot: So, I don't want you to get the wrong idea but I wanna date you.

Me: Uh huh...
(me thinks: stupid cow. Wrong idea of WHAT? you've only known me for 2 days. )

Idiot: Yeah, but dont get the wrong idea. We should go out sometime.

Me: Erm... You have not even asked me if I was single.
(me thinks: QUICK... QUICK... think of SOMETHING!!!!)

Idiot: Oh yeahh... are you single?

Me: NO.
(me thinks: GET THE DRIFT??)

Idiot: Oh I see. I am NOT either.

Me: THEN?

(me thinks: WTF???)

Idiot: You see, i have a girlfriend but she's really quiet and all.....I don't really want to be seen with her ..

Me: Look dude. I'd love to take down your girlfriend's number and have a girly chat with her.
(me thinks: You stinking cow of a chav you should just burn in HELL)

Idiot: But you see... this whole thing is complicated. But I will sort it out with her and THEN I CAN DATE YOU.

Me: Yo shitback, WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? Some random girl on loan to deprived boyfriends?
(me thinks: COMPLICATED? Why draw ME into your screwedup pile of sith )

Idiot: Like I said, dont get the wrong idea... I am sure your boyfriend is away from this country and my girlfriend wouldn't know......

Me: Listen townie I have fantastic news for you. My phone is on SPEAKER MODE and my fiancee is seated right NEXT TO ME.

Idiot: oh.....

Me: Ciao bugger. I am going to pee.


----------------------------
DON'T EVEN TRY. I am better off dating an APE this coming VALENTINE'S DAY.



SUCKERS. YOU LOT TIRE ME.

----------------------------

Note: I figured out that I've lost a fair number of stalkers due to the lack of updates. Well, i apologise for this growing inconsistency. Blame it on my job.
Pimpin' aint easy, y'know.
I suppose that a single post every week should suffice. Now, run to the corner and CRY.

21 comments:

car@ said...

YOU crack me up SEÑORITINA!!!
Love u and love your blog!
YOU are Hilarous!!!

Buggers: burn in hell!
Lyn: ya wanna be my valentine dear? jejeeje!!!

;-*

Simple American said...

Next time get me and we can use voice IM. hehehe

Who da fug are you Leroy? Whatchu buggin' LyN fo'?

Gib me yo girlfren's numbah. And I want cho mama's numbah too!

socialpest said...

What a creep! The nerve if that guy. gross. Anyway, hope you're doing good. Besides the job and yeah... the creeps. :)

yvy said...

aawwww....it's not ur fault that u're gorgeous, cute, adorable n want-able that everyone wants a piece of u. :)

lol :P *hugs*

sic6sense said...

this stalker is still here. :P

mistipurple said...

if i were there, i would stalk you too. :p

eyeris said...

OKOK, I PROMISE NEVER TO STALK YOU AGAIN!

Wait, wrong blog. hee. oops. :P

Beer Brat said...

That sucker deserves it.

I am still stalking.

lilyliverbird said...

Another stalker checking in. So happy you still in blogland chica. Where did you meet this creep lah chica? Tell me his number plate and I'll go spray 'pencil dick' on his car.

vincent said...

eh eh i am single with no quiet girlfriend....can i date you then?

*runs away and hides because i shy*

Anonymous said...

tu eres muy chistosa
jajajaja
yo quisiera ser ese mono

chau
Pedro g( I promise not to stalk you too

stephanie said...

hahaha yea u shuda asked for his mama's numbah too bwahaha :p AND THAT BOX OF GODIVA IS MINE! Mine mine mine! >.<

Kunstemæcker said...

Your boyfriend is out of the country? Have you been telling people we're dating?

;)

Yng Lyn said...

to all my stalkers,

I LOVE YOU ALL.

&

Happy Valentine's Day.. bah humbug!!!!

Jane said...

Men are horrible... :-)
Better date an ape, that's right!!!
Love you!
and see you soon in BKK!!!
Date me...ok?

Brighter Death said...

I have given up on this subject. I have decided to join a convent. Yes, diabolical brighterdeath.

Seez said...

I have a feeling I know who this person is, and I also feel partly responsible if that's the case, for which I apologise and plead ignorance. If you feel like talking about it, do call me.

cyber-red said...

er... take it as it was flattering??

LOL..

Pip said...

I have a girlfriend, but she's quiet so... I can post comments on your blog, right?

Anonymous said...

best regards, nice info » »

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