Crooning on my STEREO: Attention by ROUGE ROUGE
My mobile rang. I picked it up.
Idiot: Hi... its me. *beep*
Me: Oh hello. How are you?
Idiot: Good good. I hope I am not disturbing you with all the missed calls...
Me: Oh no no, I have been busy with work and all....
(me thinks: I detest people who disguise calls under 'Withhold ID.' I smell a fish.)
Idiot: So, I don't want you to get the wrong idea but I wanna date you.
Me: Uh huh...
(me thinks: stupid cow. Wrong idea of WHAT? you've only known me for 2 days. )
Idiot: Yeah, but dont get the wrong idea. We should go out sometime.
Me: Erm... You have not even asked me if I was single.
(me thinks: QUICK... QUICK... think of SOMETHING!!!!)
Idiot: Oh yeahh... are you single?
(me thinks: GET THE DRIFT??)
Idiot: Oh I see. I am NOT either.
(me thinks: WTF???)
Idiot: You see, i have a girlfriend but she's really quiet and all.....I don't really want to be seen with her ..
Me: Look dude. I'd love to take down your girlfriend's number and have a girly chat with her.
(me thinks: You stinking cow of a chav you should just burn in HELL)
Idiot: But you see... this whole thing is complicated. But I will sort it out with her and THEN I CAN DATE YOU.
Me: Yo shitback, WHO DO YOU THINK I AM? Some random girl on loan to deprived boyfriends?
(me thinks: COMPLICATED? Why draw ME into your screwedup pile of sith )
Idiot: Like I said, dont get the wrong idea... I am sure your boyfriend is away from this country and my girlfriend wouldn't know......
Me: Listen townie I have fantastic news for you. My phone is on SPEAKER MODE and my fiancee is seated right NEXT TO ME.
Me: Ciao bugger. I am going to pee.
Note: I figured out that I've lost a fair number of stalkers due to the lack of updates. Well, i apologise for this growing inconsistency. Blame it on my job.
Pimpin' aint easy, y'know.
I suppose that a single post every week should suffice. Now, run to the corner and CRY.