Saturday, March 03, 2007


Crooning on my STEREO:

It takes a thousand good deeds and a thousand betrayals to realise that generosity is a lame virtue. Let me tell you why you ought to be selfish on a selective basis:

First of all, karma is a jealous whore. You could feed a beggar today. And joke about your neighbour tomorrow. Karma tends to retribute the latter with a rather mysterious adversity... or let's say, you are accused of stealing in a supermarket when, in actual fact, a roll of chewing gum had accidentaly fallen into your handbag.

The same applies to your secret desire to have Manyoo defeated tonight, but you find a hideous scratch on your car the next day.

Secondly, you could be one of those fortunate souls feeding an endless stream of leaches out of sheer good will. You think you are doing the world an enourmous good deed. Thus you keep feeding. It can go on for a year. Or a decade. And after all that hoolaballoo, you realise that YOU have not been fed.

The painful truth is, you will never be given pension broth by your leachy benefactors. Screw the saying that you should always help a friend in need. You should help a true soul in need.

And thirdly, you are too dumb to pinpont any of the above.

2007 has been a bitch because I am reaping the fruits of my generosity. As I witness those gleaming smiles unfold before my eyes, I ought to be happy.

Let's be honest, I am not. And thats because I allow myself to be emotionally gagged, beaten and milked by an ungrateful lot to get you where you are today. I wont use the term 'rape' because all these were done in my charitable consent.

I possess accurate intuitions. I chose to ignore warnings because I believed in second chances. And boy, what punishable mistakes I've made.

So many that I could compile them into an encyclopaedia. Such are the products of my stupidity.

Crap is, you have to confront many unpleasant truths as you age. It's like my delusion as to how France could have possibly defeated Spain in the World Cup.


You cannot perform damage control in such situations. You can wail and cry until kingdom come but you can also choose to move on. To the rare few who are born with a good heart: only help those you love and not those whom you believe you can love. I think I've established my boundaries pretty blatantly.

Apart for those I love,


Thus I will start feeding my own.

For a change. :)

If you are getting the jitters from reading this particular post, well, then.. I've shot you point blank.


Azman said...

Hahaha. :)) . I felt exactly the same way a few times before. I'd give it a week and a half before you revert back to being selfless. That's how long I took each time.

lilyliverbird said...

Fock the ungrateful buggers. Not literally of course.

car@ said...

so that means ... ok babe, as you grow older, you realise you must be a bit selfish when it comes to you. The dance was great, pics are in my page but video will have to wait. You would enjoy it Lyn! so sad you could not be here babe. Muchos besitos cariño! Love ya!!! :-*

sicko said...

you're right. i'm too dumb too understand the post. more pics!

Simple American said...

Wish you the best. I know I have been more philanthropic than I wanted to in the past.

Still would like to write with you sometime though.

Glad I caught you on IM. Wish I did not have to leave so suddenly.

mistipurple said...

growing old is a wiser and suckier process. lol. but with your kind heart, i think you'll still choose to be nice. *wink*

lilyliverbird said...

Larling, I hope you get back to Italia soon. You used to update more often when you were away.

Yng Lyn said...

azman: you're right.. its easier said than done.. but it takes practice I suppose :)

Lily: hi babe... thanks hugs. wont be going to Italy for long term anymore... but am planning a hol in July to save my sanity. hahah... fock fock..... :(

cara: I saw the piccies in your blog! que bonita!!! :) claro, mi vida ahora es difficile un poco, porque tengo algun amigas male aqui! vamos y hablaremos mas en MSN, carina! besitos

sicko: you clever larrr

kor kor: its hard kor... but i will tell you more on YM. hugsssss

misti: you're right.. its difficult. You have a good heart too.. love.