Crooning on my STEREO: She Wants to Move by N.E.R.D
Today I am going to bitch about my friend's aunt
A dumbass journalist was raving about a particular Malaysian woman who made it into Tom Ford's fancy portfolio of dumbass actresses in March's edition of Vanity Fair. The entire nation should kiss her feet for putting our insignificant nation onto the tinseltown map.
Our dear journalist goes on to glorify her painstakingly painful steps to stardom:
"....... how she gave up her dream of being a ballerina after an injury, was crowned Miss Malaysia and then married and divorced Hong Kong billionaire Dickson Poon before her career really took off..."
Oh wow. How tearjerking. I wanna CRY. I am SO SORRY that she fucked up her dreams of becoming a twinkle-toe ballerina. (A few years later we even saw her overcame all odds by managing high-action splits as a Bond Girl. Sure, the injury is permanent. )
It is so highly fucking inspiring how she rose mightily from the depths of all catastrophes to becoming the MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN MALAYSIA by winning the most bimbotic pageant ever held on Planet Earth. For social security purposes, she is going to marry the father of all toads JEAN TODT. I am so in awe of her consideration to marry an amphibian.
Tough life, isn't it? So much of BLOOD, SWEAT and TEARS. Even Ang Lee's impoverished trade with his blood just to buy his first betacam camera can't beat our heroine's courageous strive for success.
Read this again:
.... MARRIED AND DIVORCED HONG KONG BILLIONAIRE DICKSON POON BEFORE HER CAREER REALLY TOOK OFF....
Don't be STUPID. Don't be RIDICULOUSLY STUPID.
"We all hope to see bigger things from our Hollywood Star...."
Shut up, you dumb ass.