I have freaky premonition that I may be turning my blog into a RANT BOARD.
This sucks because it can be (potentially) a symptom
That's right, you LUCKY READERS. You are going to endure my RANTS today. (AGAIN!)*
My current position in life is such; I will graduate with a Masters in FILM STUDIES in SEPTEMBER. I will LEAVE ENGLAND for GOOD in SEPTEMBER.** I will leave EUROPE in OCTOBER.
No, it doesn't sound bad at all. Especially when you're one of those prodigal students with a predicted distinction in an Asian-unfriendly qualification, I have every reason to lick myself.
Today I learnt that a fame-driven Malaysian Chinese friend of mine is recruited into a TOP Malaysian Casting Agency. She CAN'T ACT FOR SHIT.
Really. I SWEAR.
I saw her promotional material and she convinced me that I AM POSSESSED by JUDI DENCH.
The difference between me and her is that, she is a GLAMOUR MODEL. She's as tall as your ceiling, skeletal thin, squinty eyes and snowy pale. In terms of acting experience, she has NOTHING but an egg on her head.
You've guessed it... I am BITTER.
I am bitter because I have godzillions of film experiences under my belt but I am crippled by my physical inadequecies set by the industry standards.
Truth is, the entire industry is MESSED.
After October 2005, I will be SUBMERGING myself into that MESS. I will be working for GLOATING PIGS who will pay me peanuts. Malaysia is particularly worse because they lack both ARTISTRY and MODESTY.
In other words, I will be wrestling against a STUNTED ARROGANT INDUSTRY.
This sudden realization scared the living daylights out of me....
Who gives a damn if I'm an expert in Julio Medem, Fellini or Pasolini?
Oh well.. Oh well.....
*I was supposed to have a walk-on part on a feature film tommorrow but I was let down because the stupid director got my e-mail address wrong. DUMB OR WHAT???
**If you're wondering why I am leaving London in the first place that's because survival expenses in Britain will milk my expenditure. At least I don't have to pay rent at home... *wink wink*
***Looking at pictures of my dogs dilutes my hysterias. These animals mirror the simplicities of life which I've been missing out on..... BIG TIME.