Dear Diary,
I hath sinn'd. TWICE within a single week.
First of all I barged into a travel agency. I asked the bugger over the counter,
'I need to get out of this shithole, like, NOW. Wheres the cheapest?'
Bugger looked at his computer. Kept me waiting for god knows 20mins.
He finally muttered,
'Hellenistic Republic, flying this Wednesday for $$$* '
I reached for my wallet and flashed my credit card.
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Second Sin took place on Monday morning.
Checked the Arsenal website. Saw a pic of Thierry Henry modeling a fucking ugly BLACKCURRENT** jersey that those stupid monkeys are going to wear next season.
"ORDER YOUR NEW ARSENAL KIT NOW AND GET A FREE HIGHBURY WRISTBAND!!!!!"
I clicked on ORDER. I added an engraving of "REYES 9" on the stupid RIBENA-inspired jersey for an additional 6quid.***
The TOTAL COST? Equivalent to a damned return train ticket (without a fucking railcard) to the Midlands. Thank God I wasn't lured into buying the advertised pair of matching blackcurrent socks.
I reached for my wallet and flashed my credit card.
Diary, I hope I have cleared my blinding sins by confessing to you. Saves me a tube ticket to St Paul's. I am flying off to Poseidon's Temple in such short notice (aka. 26 hours) that I realised I may need to buy disposable underwear along the way.
Anyway, shortly after sacrificing a day's wages for my supposedly BIRTHDAY JERSEY, a Highbury insider informed me that
Arsenal is SWAPPING REYES FOR OWEN.
Now that's a problem. No refunds, innit. So diary, what should I do?
Should I apply for some form of pension in a week's time?
Lots of love and hatred,
Lyn xxx
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* My retarded keyboard wont do the pound sign, so it will have to do with the dollar sign.
** Some argue that the jersey's colour is REDCURRENT rather than BLACKCURRENT. I don't give a damn cos they're both such dead ugly colours anyway.
*** 6 quid is my hourly pay as a stupid waitress who feigns a variety of illnesses in order to get the male staff to carry wine bottles for her.
4 comments:
Did you know that Arsenal originally came from Woolwich, which is next to Plumstead! Anyway, support Charlton.
John
P.S. When am I going to see you? huh huh huh?
Are you still here? I thought you had left already.
john!! I loveeeee MATT HOLLAND... I LOVEEE CHARLTON!!!! I ADORN THEIR FLAGGGGG
Kunstemaecker: I just got back! a week later ;)
jess: HI jess, it seems that there's a possibility that arsenal may swap Owen for Reyes, but there's no official announcement yet... but will keep you posted nevertheless :D
That's a great story. Waiting for more. » »
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