Friday, May 26, 2006

10 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL IS GOOD FOR YOU


Crooning on my STEREO:
Tequila Sunrise by CYPRESS HILL

I am speaking of drinks that can fuck up your brains. You know, drinks that get you high and consequtively fuck around with your moods. Nah, drugs aint no good. Give me 2 Long Islands and I can be friendly with the car jockey.

Reason #1
Alcohol gets you HIGH. HIGH = HAPPY. I like. We all like to be happy. Who doesn't?

Reason #2
Alcohol enables you to CONQUER THE WORLD. Or so you think. It is okay to fantasise your abilities and delude yourself into achieving something close to it. In other words, you finally summon the courage to speak to that hot bloke by the bar.

Reason #3
Tequilas and vodkas have one thing in common: they taste like car petrol. Nothing wrong with that though. Just that downing quantities is considered a social feat... after downing 5 shots in a row you will earn the respect of your shallow friends and random strangers.

Reason #4
Alcohol is the best remedy for heartaches. Speaking from experience here, why do you think I am writing this in the first place?? Damn you, mankind.

Reason #5
Alcohol earns you friends. Serious. Go to clubs after 2 am and you realise that random strangers are cradling your waist and men are more willing to open doors for you rather than to slam them right in your face when they are sober.

Reason #6
Alcohol is a form of medicine. Okay, thats bullshit. But I swear I recovered from a flu after throwing up excessive alcohol. Ooops.

Reason #7
Storing several bottles of imported beer in the fringe gives you the reassurance that if you ever hit any form of anxiety, help can be found in the kitchen.

Reason #8
If you can't sleep, drink 500ml of Absolut and I guarantee you instant pass-out.

Reason #9
Alcohol brings out your hidden desires. That is, if you refuse to dance to Kylie's 'Locomotive Song'.... 3 bottles of alcopop will certainly delude you into grooving foolishly. Even if they play KRU's 'AWAS' or Siti Nurhaliza, you'd still groove. In front of your crush. Without shame.

Reason #10
Most people testify that I am a BETTER person whenever I am intoxicated.

That's hot.

24 comments:

Simple American said...

Happy is good mui. Drink usually gave me the courage to get up off the floor after tripping over my own two feet.

Tequilas is foreplay in Mexico.

Puking usually killed whatever ailed me. And when I was in the army it felt even better to hurl on the asshole's bunk, er, I mean my roommate.

I used to drink 2 or 3 bottle of German apple wine so I could get so drunk that I would not know what I did for the evening. My friends were more than happy to tell me how stupid I acted.

mistipurple said...

i see i am missing alot of things in life. :)

Mirebella said...

An ode to the "humble" drink ...

Was reading your 10 and was going "ahuh.."ahuh".. good on ya sweets :)

stephanie said...

I like being happy and tipsy. So long as I do not throw up ON my mother...which I'm smart enough now not to do ofcourse. My parents used to have a bar counter, now its just a "bar cabinet" $@%#$^%$! Nothing makes me happier than my malibu..oh malibuuuuu *does mad delirious dance* (and baileys...mmMMmmm)

Jane said...

I love to see you Happy!!!
Let's get drunk!!!
Ahhhh...I wish you could come to Bangkok before heading to Italy!!!
Come here gal...we will party!!!

car@ said...

I can guarantee you would enjoy a feria so much!!!! it is drink drink drink all day long! :-P

love your profile pic, you are as beautiful as ever! MUACKS!!!!!!!

sic6sense said...

I'll definitely insist that you drink 2 long islands when i see you. :)

sic6sense said...

yin yang, count me out for futsal. i hear its nasty on old injuries (long list!).

i'll stick to the long islands.

lilyliverbird said...

Bottoms up girl :D It's for the good of mankind, innit?

Yng Lyn said...

i have been ransacking almost every bar in town like a alco-lunatic....

see? this is what unrequited love does to me. I passively vent aggression. I need anger management classes.......

hugs and muaxx to you all! :)

yvy said...

haha!! couldnt have said it better, you sure do know wat u're talking abt as i can certainly relate to it. *hic*

cyber-red said...

i can't drink for nutsssssss

*hic*

Pip said...

It's good that you told me this, because I was under the impression that alcohol was bad for me.

It was the taste, I think, that gave me that impression: the taste of wrongness, of my body rejecting the liquid as something intrinsically not right for consumption.

So I'm glad that now I can throw that disturbing thought behind me.

I changed blogs, LyN. I need readers. You need to stop by and feed my ego with comments.

eyeris said...

we should go out for drinks some time during the World Cup... :D

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NeoWakko said...

Damn rite!!

But for me, it's me and Mr. G(uinness)

Apparently i can do this one particular type of dance when i'm drunk.

i do'nt know what it's called.
i don't dance.

Unless Mr.G tells me to.

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