Why Fashion and Football cannot mix.

Today I received the latest Arsenal catalogue in my pigeonhole.

Here we have Robert Pires trying to sell you a bomber jacket for forty two quid.
Firstly, the bomber jacket looks like a bin liner. Secondly, WE, as consumers, are 'supposedly' lured by this greasy Bollywood actor who somewhat reminds us of that fake designer conman lurking in the backlanes of Camden Town. RING A BELL??


Oh dear, whats with this sickly enthusiasm? Is this some sort of chemotherapy costume?
Gone were those triumphant days of Freddie's 'come sleep with me' Calvin Klein G-string campaign. COME BUY THIS UNWASHED STALE PYJAMAS FOR ONLY 20 quid.


I am not sure what he is trying to sell here... Colgate? Sunshine Health campaign? Or a secondhand Arsenal training jumper dating back to 1886? Whatever it is, the whole package costs a whopping 32quid.


This jumper squeezes your internal organs to flatter your body figure. And those JEANS....I have the SAME pair but in a much larger size! ARE MEN GETTING SMALLER OR WHAT?!???


Boxers! Three sexy colours (especially the tartan one) guaranteed to charm your women to DEATH. ALL YOURS FOR ONLY 10 QUID


This is the saving grace. BESTSELLER OF THE SEASON, but only limited to ONE lucky customer. Price on application.
But, then again, I am not too sure about those urchin green trousers....

Sorry, while stock lasts.....