Sunday, January 18, 2009

Love Lockdown

Crooning on my STEREO: Chasing Pavements by ADELE

I have no strength to write. But yet I want to tell you something.

This is the only available online excerpt I have but it is without English subtitles. Anyhow if you watch it you can more or less understand what is going on.

Cabiria is a kind hearted prostitute who falls in love with a man and drops everything just to marry him. She has sold off her house and all her belongings to pay for her wedding in Rome.

The scene above depicts when she meets him to pass on the money for their wedding. She is happy and excited. He turns cold. She then realises, to her horror, that he has an ulterior motive to push her off the cliff and take her money. In her despair she begs him to kill her as she cannot face the brutality of her shattered fairytale.

He never loved her.

This is a scene from Closer. An empathetic sequence when one breaks the dreadful news to the other.

And it relates to this other scene. One's selfishness can hurt the other beyond belief.

Cabiria now walks the road alone after having lost the man she loved, her belongings and home. She has nowhere to go. A group of carefree youths walk by and tries to cheer her up. She struggles to smile amidst being grief stricken.

At the very end of the sequence, she eventually acknowledges the existence of hope. And that she will be alright.

Why such videos? Because all these best describe what I went through, and still going through. It may be annoying to you, but perhaps you do not have the slightest idea of how difficult this is for me.

How can you ever recover knowing that you were perceived just as a dying prostitute to the one man you ever loved? It will haunt you.

I am only human.


KY said...


jolenesiah said...

man.. when they needed u they bring u closer.. when they dont they just kick u aside...
now im facing it too.. how sad...

oh and welcome back.. is great to hear from u again :D

mistipurple said...

one day, the pain will be less.
it may take a while but that day will come. trust me on this.
you will continue to help yourself. that way, half the battle is won. *hugs*

yvy said...

woman!!! long time no come here - how are u? WHERE are u? lol

Murasaki Shikibu said...

Moral of the story: When a man asks you for money for whatever reason - drop him like a hot potato!!

Yng Lyn said...

My good friend Alan wrote this, which I would like to share with you:

"I guess you will always be bitter about those years. Lost years. You will never recover them. In that sense, one man did ruin your life. But only part of it.

This is the middle time. Neither dead nor alive, neither hot nor cold. Neither dark nor bright. But there are years ahead, good years. You will shed a few more tears along the way and also experience life's highs. Its thrills.

Try to be ready to welcome that new dawn my friend. If you curse its onset or struggle against your own raw passions, the new day will snatch you into its arms anyway, still reluctant, still not free. Its vastly better to welcome new life as a friend. Not now. Not soon. But when you are ready. When you see the first rays of light ... that is the moment to herald the dawn. If you need a hand doing that, well, you have my cellphone number."

jolenesiah said...

hope u r doing fine... since it been awhile didnt hear from u ...

Anonymous said...

I stumbled upon your blog and found ur writing very interesting.

This content is really heart-aching.
I just want to say I sympathize with ur situation.

May u be healed.

Anonymous said...

i'm sure you will overcome whatever happens to you, I have complete faith in you and will always have,
I know you are having a hard time,
don't ever forget that there are people who love you and will always care for you no matter what happens,

sometimes when I'm sad, I read the card you gave me for valentines's
it always cheer me up

Estimadamente tu siempre admirador