Sunday, April 30, 2006

FACE JOB


Crooning on my STEREO:
Pump It by BLACK EYED PEAS

I have been thinking about a possible FACE JOB. Everyone's talking about it at the workplace.

Of course, when you're caged in a mistakenly glamorous industry, having pretty little face WORKS WONDERS. People will be generally nicer to you, clients will pursue you, you get deals done, you get a phenomenal payrise and your boss wont be inclined to use your pretty little face as a punchbag.

(Rather than to wait years for him to bloom into a decent-looking swan, the Ugly Duckling would have speed up the process by resorting to surgery so that the other ducks in the pond will be more compassionate towards him from the start. Don't you just LOVE this shallow world? )

But hey, might as well throw in a course of full body LIPOSUCTION . And leg extensions, too? I'd love a boob job as well.

By now you would have noticed that I am (was) a failed actress. I don't doubt my acting skills though.When I attended auditions in Malaysia, they specifically said they would prefer a PAN ASIAN for the job. Even one who resembles a mongloid will suffice. Oh, they even lovingly advised me to lose 75% of my body mass.

Back in London, I swear I could have scored a cameo in the DA VINCI CODE but casting agents said they would rather hire someone is a UK citizen. FINE. The best of all, they complained I didn't look ORIENTAL enough.

But not all hope is lost,
I DO HAVE A SOLUTION.

Instead of sitting on my butt and propagating my woes to the world, I shall take ACTION.

I shall transform my current monstrosity to inspire the world to LOVE me.



COSMETIC SURGERY.
THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.




I bet you took me seriously..... Didn't you? ;)

23 comments:

Kunstemæcker said...

You look Romanian to me. ;)

Mirebella said...

Pan Asian my ass - the thing about the advertisers mentality in Asia is... anything closely resembling Caucasion is GOOD! Hence, when the no-white in ads ruling fell into place ..guess whose the next big thing ... the Pan Asian look!

Moi? I've been told I look anything from South American to Indian to Thai to Nepali to Portugese/Grago etc - how's that for a multicultural look?

Nah - to quote Cik Aguilera - " I am Beautiful" ;-)

Yng Lyn said...

kracker: now, thats RANDOM!

mirebella: spot on, you are so right! this pro-white mentality in asian media is a pain in the ass... i guess any dudette on the street who has a bit of caucasian blood in them has an advantage in terms of casting eventhough some of their talent skill is almost nil.

I blame it on the industry.

And I am sure you are beautiful :)

car@ said...

You look like a godess to me! that's fine, I LOVE YOU alawys as long as you don't go for that face job and end up terribly ugly like Mr. Jackson!! jeje!

I will try to call you again, running late today. SO HAPPY TO HEAR YOUR SWEET VOICE!!!
U gotta tells me how is it going with....ejem mr. (asked you out) jeje!!! ;-)

mistipurple said...

don't you do anything to your million dollar face, or your butt or any part of you. ya, i knew you were not serious.

Simple American said...

So what kind of pan do you but an asian in? Help me here.

I must be a Pot Texas, cuz I'm so damn fat. Wish I looked as good as MJ.

stephanie said...

BWAHAHAHA The day you get a boob job, will be the day I get MY boobs done, and possibly leg extensions too. LOL Remember woman...we're all beautiful beings. Though, I feel a tad bit off the tangent :p Trust me, you look...evil enough *huGs* xoxo

Jane said...

What's wrong with these people???
I think Malaysia and Thailand and other Asian countries are the same...
They want Pan Asia.. Flat shape..like a pan! Walking skeleton...

Beauty is different on each eyes... But in my eyes, you're so beautiful... you beautiful heart shines... and I can see it from 2 bus stops away!!!

KevinTeh.Net said...

Dear Lyn, from my memory you're one hot chic back in notts. Don't change. Stay the same. :) Else you wouldn't have high taste like being with Reyes, Casillas etc. You know what I mean. Lyn = one sophisticated HOT lady.

lilyliverbird said...

Chica, others would pay to look like you.

There.

Sod the Shallow Malaysians.

cyber-red said...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You still look hawt to me okayyyy

come lets go clubbing heh heh

Anonymous said...

tu eres una de las chica mas bonita, hermosa, bella que yo e conocido.:)
Those people from the movie business would not know what beauty is if it where in front of their nose.

I believe Lyn es Perfecta,

I tell you what, if i win the lotto, I will buy a movie producing company, so you can be the main actress in all movies

besos y abrazos

Pedro G

Anonymous said...

I just had an idea.
since you have problems getting a movie role, I would like to start the fund.

gettinglynintothemoviebusiness.org

your friends and I will be involved using all our unique abilities to get you into the movie business.

goals,
Promoting lyn(the one lyn we all love and know) in their home countries
put her in touch with movie producers
directors, etc
getting sponsors

Pedro G USA-New york using his awesome skills in web design and open source.
in charge of web marketing lyn

Spain, England,

Those people from the movie business won't know what hit them

"always find another way to achieve your goals", leonardo da vinci

chau y hablamos
Pedro G

sic6sense said...

the local industry is not worth fretting about. If anything, perhaps you might want to do theatre where talent IS a consideration.

Of course, it wont pay your bills.

Carrie said...

for a second there. i DID take you seriously. holy shit. lmao!

like YOU need a face job...ya right.....why fiddle with perfection....silly goose. lol.

lilyliverbird said...

wei..bila mahu update??

yvy said...

you? cosmetic surgery? whallap you lar!!! God made us perfect so dont u go changing urself into MJ Part II.

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