FACE JOB

Crooning on my STEREO: Pump It by BLACK EYED PEAS

I have been thinking about a possible FACE JOB. Everyone's talking about it at the workplace.

Of course, when you're caged in a mistakenly glamorous industry, having pretty little face WORKS WONDERS. People will be generally nicer to you, clients will pursue you, you get deals done, you get a phenomenal payrise and your boss wont be inclined to use your pretty little face as a punchbag.

(Rather than to wait years for him to bloom into a decent-looking swan, the Ugly Duckling would have speed up the process by resorting to surgery so that the other ducks in the pond will be more compassionate towards him from the start. Don't you just LOVE this shallow world? )

But hey, might as well throw in a course of full body LIPOSUCTION . And leg extensions, too? I'd love a boob job as well.

By now you would have noticed that I am (was) a failed actress. I don't doubt my acting skills though.When I attended auditions in Malaysia, they specifically said they would prefer a PAN ASIAN for the job. Even one who resembles a mongloid will suffice. Oh, they even lovingly advised me to lose 75% of my body mass.

Back in London, I swear I could have scored a cameo in the DA VINCI CODE but casting agents said they would rather hire someone is a UK citizen. FINE. The best of all, they complained I didn't look ORIENTAL enough.

But not all hope is lost,
I DO HAVE A SOLUTION.

Instead of sitting on my butt and propagating my woes to the world, I shall take ACTION.

I shall transform my current monstrosity to inspire the world to LOVE me.



COSMETIC SURGERY.
THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.



I bet you took me seriously..... Didn't you? ;)

Still Here...

Crooning on my STEREO: Do You Only Wanna Dance by MYA

Walked into a long-lost friend the other day.

And this was what she said to me

"Wow, you... look.. so... different....

I mean,

YOU LOOK LIKE GERI HALLIWELL."



Honestly,

I really don't know what to make of it...

Lights! Camera! Action!

Crooning on my STEREO: 2 Become 1 by SPICE GIRLS

Stop giving me that flak. I've got SPICE GIRLS on my stereo. Oh, damn it.


I am walking towards the red carpet at the Palais Des Festivals. Guess what?

I FORGOT MY DIGITAL CAMERA

Thank the almighty for the inbuilt camera on my mobile phone. Well, the battery did NOT last very long.

IT DID NOT SURVIVE THE C.S.I MIAMI LAUNCH PARTY.

And NO ONE WOULD HAVE BELIEVED THAT I PARTIED WITH DAVID CARUSO.

Damn it. This ALWAYS happens to me. There is not a single photo evidence of my claims to fame everytime I hit a close encounter with any celebrity at any point of my life.

(To name a few: Westlife (2x), Sam Neil, Ricky Martin, Jenson Button (2x), Seal, Fernando Alonso, Jarno Trulli, David Coulthard (2x), Eddie Irvine, Gael Garcia Bernal (2x), Stanley Tucci, Sean Biggerstaff, Colin Farrell, Giancarlo Fisichella and dozens dozens dozens of others....... sigh.)

Tough luck with my camera. As a result,
NOBODY BELIEVES ME.
*wails*

My resolution? Time to get myself a slinky camera with a longlasting battery life. And to implant a memory grain onto my head so that I will actually REMEMBER to bring it with me everywhere I go.

BRB

Crooning on my STEREO: La Playa by LA OREJA DE VAN GOGH

Ciao folks, I've been working like paddy-cow and will continue to do so for the next week.

It has been 5 long years.



I missed you.




And I loved you.




IN 13 HOURS, WE MEET AGAIN.



French Riviera, HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!