Vodka and Tears

Crooning on my STEREO: Baby Mine by BETTE MIDLER

When was the last time you bawled your eyes out?

Firstly, its the long distance trauma which nobody empathizes with the amount of crap I have to endure for the past 2 years.


Bloody hell. Now here's the film which I CANNOT make myself watch because it just makes me bawl and bawl and bawl:


OH MY GOD can someone REMIND ME NEVER TO TAKE VODKA? Surely it makes sense as to why the Russians take it on a daily basis.

You may be surprised to learn that I have FEELINGS too. HUMAN EMOTIONS that is. Surprise Surprise. At this rate, I can CRY till kingdom come. It better NOT KILL ME, dude.

May the good Lord save me.

Celebrity, Get Me Outta Here!!

Crooning on my STEREO: Stop and Stare by ONE REPUBLIC

By now, we have all heard that Malaysians are in the midst of exile from entering Britain sans Visa despite being a Commonwealth compatriot. Now our colonial Motherland is contemplating on making our lives a little EASIER; ie. by making us fill in 20 pages of forms, submitting 10 copies of photographs, queuing up at the very friendly embassy and having to fork out a hefty processing fee in POUNDS for every application. (1 quid = 7 Ringgit Malaysia)

With all my dignity I REFUSE to be treated as a 4th world national.

My heart reaches out to those who have never taken a photo in front of the structural BIG BEN. With the impending Visa rule, they will probably never have the chance to do so. So let's go Paris instead.

You can read my view that was published on a local daily paper here.

But even Paris will not suffice sans Visa. Because if the UK regulation does take effect, there is a likelihood that the entire EU will follow suit. I am just hoping that this is just a shock propaganda to scare the idiots outta the country.

I am not surprised why we are condemned to such immigration torture. There are plenty of IDIOTS (Malaysians, I am embarassed to say) who are overstaying in the UK. In other words, there's a suspected bundle of illegal immigrants from MALAYSIA. There are students who enter Britain with a student visa when they have no intention of coming home, EVER. I know exactly who they are and, oh, how I wish I can report those.

Okay I don't get it. If you bloody hell want WORK in the UK, what the hell are you working as a KITCHEN HAND in Euston? You can be just that in Malaysia. If you can be bloody hell be a waitress, why is it more painful to do just that in Malaysia??

I know, I know. You want a better life.

DOES LIVING IN THE COLD GIVE YOU A BETTER LIFE?? DOES HAVING NO RECOURSE TO PUBLIC FUNDS GIVE YOU A BETTER LIFE?? DOES HIDING FROM IMMIGRATION OFFICIALS GIVE YOU A BETTER LIFE??

Don't be a dumbass. Even if you marry your local butcher in every hope of getting a PR, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE SOCIALLY REGARDED AS A FOREIGNER. Get that? There is no glamour in that. Your mother in law may adore you but your neighbours will be bitching about you.

Then you will say.. well, my children will have a better life in the UK...

YOU CHILDREN WILL NOT THANK YOU FOR THAT. IN FACT, AT ANY POINT OF THEIR LIVES THEY WILL FORGET THEIR ROOTS AND BLARDY HELL BLAME YOU FOR IT.

Some will say, yeah... but Malaysia has no hope, no chance of advancement, blah blah...

This also applies to legal migrants. You are so naive. If you want to work in Banking in HSBC London, there is a HSBC MALAYSIA too. Ok, you don't earn in pounds. So what? If you prove yourself decent they will surely post you on a deserving branch. London will retrench you any minute due to your immigrant status. Taxes? It's dollar for dollar so just admit its the uniform dog-eat-dog in every industry. If you earn 2000 quid in London is equates to RM2000. Figure that out.

If you want to train as an accountant in a 3rd grade London company, there is an abundance of local firms in KL. Why crowd in a foreign land? It is only logical to think that if you can find jobs in your country, you really do not need to be abroad. You may lust over caucasian boys but please don't be such an anglophile.

A Tip: The best employees start rough back home because they are humble. Trust me, I know.

There is some exception if you are a true and certified specialist in a niche market, ie. the fine arts. Let's face it, there is NO PROFESSIONAL ARTS industry in Malaysia. By all means I encourage you to RUN far away. But if your ambitions only stretches up to film production work then don't fret because there is still a healthy industry in M'sia itself, albeit a racist one. You will live even if you stayed.

MALAYSIA IS NOT A WAR TORN COUNTRY. YES, WE HAVE AN ACTIVE AND SCANDALOUS POLITICAL FRONT. SO WHAT? We need some editorial excitement now and then. I bet you enjoyed reading them too.

WERE YOU STARVING IN MALAYSIA??

Unless you are on Atkins, no one is really deprived of food. Then come home. You really don't need to be there.