SORROW

Crooning on my STEREO: If I Aint Got You by ALICIA KEYS

As of this morning, my heart hath been shattered.

You know, it is that sort of screeching pain that grazes across those running artileries that enter your corazon.

Right now,

I am in despair.

I am in agony.

I am in utter PAIN.

And this painstaking bitterness is too familiar.
Some may even have to go through it more than TEN times. What poor things.

Or in my case, TWICE within 6 months. TWICE.


FIRST, IT WAS ARSENAL .

And now,


SPAIN IS OUT.


Fuck the world.

Return In Peace

Crooning on my STEREO: We Be Burnin' by SEAN PAUL

It is funny how my illness has kept me away from the gym for 2 weeks, robbed 10 shades off my tan and turned me into a reluctant omnivore. Not to mention the sudden withdrawal of daily alcohol from my system has transformed me into some sort of nervous wreck in a desperate need for rehabilitation. In this course of recovery, the lack of protein adds to my lethargy, and this means that I've been sleeping through 30% of the World Cup matches played so far. I even drove my car into a ditch.

THAT SUCKS

In the midst of all that sick slumber, I noticed a pretty cool headgear:



Want one for yourself?

EASY.

You can get a similar net from your local fruit store.
Place it over your head.
One size fits all.

World Cup FEVER

Crooning on my STEREO: Malo by BEBE

I am typing this bedridden. No, really. I mean, YES, REALLY.

It is painful. I can't EAT. I CANT TALK. I CANT DRINK. I CANT HEAR. I CANT WATCH THE TELLY WITHOUT NAUSEA POISONING MY HEAD.

I am paralysed.

I haven't had a slab of steak in THREE DAYS. I haven't drank a plain ol' glass of water without yelling like a yeti every morning.

IT IS FUCKING PAINFUL, OKAY?

England is playing tonight and I am hospitalised in my room overdosed on painkillers. In fact, I have been sleeping for the past three days and I could barely keep my eyes open for the Germany match. I can imagine all my friends bawling it out at Souled Out with endless pints of Guinness WITHOUT ME.

Guess what? Today Doc told me there it will probably take at least another week before my life returns back to normal. She then gave me an extra boost of antibiotics on my BUM. And I probably have to keep doing so until that godforsaken sore goes away. And everyday, I have to wake up to the fact that I CANT EAT, I CANT TALK, I CANT DRINK, I CANT HEAR AND I CANT PLAY FUTSAL WITH MY DOGS ANYMORE.

I AM IN PAIN

And instead of wishing that the boy i fancy will eventually return my unrequited love or that friend who suddenly turned cold towards me will explain his reasons... I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THESE JERKS ANYMORE.

There is only one thing I ask,

I WANT MY HEALTH BACK

Telenovela Especial

Crooning on my STEREO: Because I Got High by AFROMAN


If I could produce a TELENOVELA of my life in the month of MAY, it would (undoubtedly) consist of the following elements:-

- BETRAYAL

- ADULTERY

- MURDER

- PASSION

- BITCH FIGHTING

- ALCOHOL OVERDOSE

- DECADENCE

- LIES

- HYPOCRISY

- "GOL DAN GINCU"

- BANKRUPTCY

- PROSTITUTION/ PIMPING

- HATRED

- THEFT

- ARSENAL

- DESPAIR


Come on, folks! I know that you are all DYING to witness this perfect mix of scandal at my expense.


Well, it IS happening.

SUDDENLY, LIFE IS NO LONGER A BORE