La Settimana Discoteca

Crooning on my STEREO: My Love by JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

Dear DISCO BALL,

I've been capitalising on my teacher's absence. Yeah, I know I shouldn't. I am a worthy scholar. I should recite my Italian verb tables 5 hours everyday. Y'know, I am working so hard on doctorate level sentences such as, 'Hi. My name is Lyn. I am from Malaysia. I am 23. I am here to learn Italian. I love pasta...'

CAZZO

Lessons don't do anything for me. Truth is, I pick up the most useful Italian phrases from pagan hangouts such as the DISCOTECA. Its all thanks to you, Mr Disco Ball, for tempting me. Well, you make me get up and dance. And be merry. And be drunk. Despite all the U-20 boys who constantly surround (haunt) me eversince I stepped foot onto this country, you are the reason why I married Bob Sinclar in an impromptu ceremony.



Look at the pile of first year undergrads in this party. Why do they all flood Perugia? Surely they are all below 21 and should be arrested for some sort of under-age alcohol consumption and juvenile boh-sia. No point telling the polizia. I should have the Mafia lock them all up instead.

Or why don't YOU collapse onto them?

Somewhere along the lines of Phantom Of The Opera. Y'know, the scene where the Phantom is sawing the chandelier?

Love Generation aside.

Mr Disco Ball, you are also making me FAT. Because I've turned into a nocturnal creature, I have this daily innate craving for wholesome KEBABS. I may proclaim my undying love for mayonaise drenched kebabs, but all that double portion and extra garlic sauce is adding even more inches to my elephant hips. But I wont hold you responsible for all of it, at least having a kebab is the only time I actually eat vegetables.



So it's not all that bad isn't it? A swiss friend once told me that pasta is the best hangover cure. And because I suffer from this sort of migraine almost every afternoon, I am officially the maker of groundbreaking pasta. No more Carbonara. I discovered the Gevonese.

Life's good, I know. And I will be seeing you again tonight.

I can't wait. Dance with me. And Bob Sinclair.

Abbraccio,
Lyn xxx