MONDAY SUCKS

Crooning on my STEREO: For An Angel by PAUL VAN DYK

7:45 am: ALARM BEEPS.
Me Thinks: Heh?........ What?........... WHY???

7:50 am: SNOOZE ONCE. I WAKE TO REALITY.
Me Thinks: God damnnit why in all heavens name cant this be a SUNDAY MORNING?? God please not let this be a MONDAY!!!!! this can't be true!!!!! oh heavens NOOOO!!!!!

7:50 am: I SIT IN THE LOO.
Me Thinks: Fuck the world. My life sucks. My life sucks. My life sucks. My life sucks....

7:52 am: I BRUSH MY TEETH.
Me Thinks: I look shit. I look shit. I look shit. I look shit. I look shit.....

7:56 am: I PUT MY CLOTHES ON.
Me Thinks: Fuck this skirt I look like a turnip. Screw my bloody fatty arms I've got chicken wings...

8:00 am: I EAT MY BREAD WITH PEANUT BUTTER
Me Thinks: May this stale bread give me diarrhoea and a tummy gag so that I can take a half-day leave...

8:05 am: I TURN ON THE TELLY
Me Thinks: Come on.... give me a national crisis so that all roads leading to the city will be closed...

8:20 am : I GET INTO THE CAR
Me Thinks: Shit. The engine works.

8:30 am: I AM CAUGHT IN THE TRAFFIC
Me Thinks: The janitor has a better job. I think I should resign this week. Maybe tommorrow? Or Friday when boss is in a less shitty mood.

8:50 am: I REACH THE OFFICE LOBBY
Me Thinks: Damn it. Office is not flooded.

9:00 am: I GET INTO THE ELEVATOR
Me Thinks: Why can't there be a lift suspension error on, let's say, the 21st floor?

9:03 am: I GET TO MY DESK. I SWITCH ON MY DESKTOP.
Me Thinks: 9 hours to go. My life sucks. I wanna get pissed.

9:05 am: I COMPLAIN TO ANY SOUL WHO WALKS PAST ME ABOUT HOW ANNOYING MY AFFILIATES ARE. I PLAY BLUR's GREATEST HITS ON MY SPEAKERS.
I sing to Blur's Universal. And it really, really, really could happen.... tra la la la...... SIGH.

AND THE DAY FOLLOWS UP WITH MORE BORING SHIT.

Now sing this:

DON'T CHA WISH YOUR WORKING LIFE IS COOL LIKE MINE ??